I just finished a live video on Spiritual bypassing, Shadow work and healing our pasts and I thought I'd just write you and share a few thoughts.
Over the past week or so I've had a lot of conversations about “healing” and working through “what's been”, releasing the shadows and past to be able to move forward.
This has led to how often “spiritual” focused people can fall into “spiritual bypassing” and covering up the pain and trauma to just move forward, rather than processing it and taking it with you.
I often surprise new clients when I tell them we won't be diving into their pasts right away to make room for their future.
Rather, I tell them, we'll practice on the NOW.
When I start with my clients or in any classes and workshops I run, my first go to is creating that beautiful present space, that deep connection between you and YOU, your spiritual centre, your truest self, your divinity.
We can be so focused on our day to day life in front of us, our energy gets scattered to the winds and we need to reclaim them... so you can feel whole. Reclaim them, and find centre.
This comes with the understanding that, energetically, where attention goes, energy flows, and until you have a solid foundation in knowing your inner connection NOW, being true to yourself NOW, seeing through your heart perspective NOW, then when you give your attention to the past...
woosh... you will bring that space, that perspective, that energy right here to the moment.
It's a bit like when you go to a high school reunion and you can't help feeling like the same when you were there... the same insecurities, the same hangups. The past will follow you, and repeat itself if we give it too much power.
BUT, the past has happened, it has shaped you, often hurt you, often empowered you and fueled you so let's give it some attention once you have your feet firmly in the present.
Over in the Breathing Space membership space we're working through the Chakra Class material, and we just covered the Solar Plexus.
This is your inner fire, your Spark of YOU, your unique imprint on life, right at your upper stomach. But what many people don't talk about is how it fuels you by “digesting” and “consuming” your experiences, your perspectives, opinions, preferences, observations and dislikes.
Imagine this like an inner furnace, which burns and is fueled by your life experience, and then, empowers you like a great phoenix rising. We often talk about “following your gut instinct.” Well, here she is.
This is the seat of your inner voice, which uses the energy formed from your heart chakra above and the Sacral Chakra, (your energy center for balance between spirit and physical, inspiration and action, creativity and pro-creation.) This is where your guidance lies.
So, go within and listen... in your here and now.
Give your attention to your inner self, fuel that inner fire, know the universe has your back and you are consuming, digesting and processing what's gone before.
And then, sometimes you will be called to go back and re-digest and process a little bit more.
You might need to acknowledge.
You might need to forgive (others or yourself)
You might need to release
You might need to consume and digest more
You might need to revisit yourself and surround yourself in love
But when you've done that, do yourself a favor and give yourself permission to ask yourself...
What does HEALED look like for you?
You won't see it back in the past, when you give your attention to what hurt you in the first place. That's like pealing a scab off a wound and asking it to heal over and over again.
Tiptoe back, revisit briefly, surround it with love, heal it with light...
I know. Bad things happen. Trauma is real and there are things that have to be worked through.
I've worked through a lot of difficult times, traumatic experiences as well.
But that doesn't mean you have to let it dim your light in your now.
Practice your footing here in this present moment Know where you are... know where YOU are and chart the course of where you are going, using what you know, what you've learnt, what you've consumed in that inner fire... be your own phoenix rising and redefine YOU.
Because that's what this journey of life is ALL ABOUT!
Use your energy to cast your attention forward, play with your dreams and hopes, visualize the best outcome... and when something gets in your way...
Find center and then revisit the past to see if there's anything you can heal and release to get you on your way again.
And if you need any help, reach out. Reach out to where you feel called to, where your gut tells you to.
Also, tune within, the solutions are often there, all along.
Living Inside Out. Allowing. Knowing. Intending. Connecting.
To live inside out means you tune in before reacting.
You shift focus before stress overtakes you.
You breathe deep and find inner resilience, before trying to push to make something right.
To live inside out means you trust your inner world over the outer.
You know that your higher self, Universe, God, Goddess, Spiritual connection has your back and it's really about letting it in, allowing the solutions to flow.
We can all shift back to living Outside In.
We can focus on a problem until we're blue in the face.
We can get out the pros and cons list, intellectually weighing up the Hows of it all... the What Ifs...
the What could go wrongs.
But, there's this innate relief that happens when you simply pull in the oars and... float.
A Space is created, a space for the universe to provide.
When we're banging our heads on a problem there's literally NO ROOM for a solution to flow in.
And yet, knowing that... knowing that we have to let solutions in, knowing that we have to “reprogram” our brain to let go of resistant thoughts and practice mindful Being...
can easily turn into knowing we need to live inside out, but looking in through a window.
The lens of intellectualizing Spiritual practice and mindfulness is a bit like putting our hearts and spirits under a microscope and asking... am I at peace yet?
Living inside out, says live the inner peace, let it flow over you, and you won't have to look to see if you are there.
We're a thoughtful bunch of people in this world. We think out everything.
I played a lot of imaginary games growing up. I had a set one that I always immersed myself in. I had a large family of dolls I did everything with.
My role; The mom, Of course.
I played it well. I did everything for my doll children. I clothed them, fed them, tended to their needs and sometimes they “got into trouble”, which for some reason was the more dramatic of events in any game day.
I fulfilled the role to the last. I slipped in and out of the game as naturally as waking up each morning.
What was once pretend is often referred to as role-playing now according to my daughters.
We all have roles to play, don't we? And we don't even need detailed costumes.
We are the employers, the employees, we're the wife, husband, doctor, lawyer, we're the bestie, the frenemy, the jock, the girlfriend. Perhaps we're even the social awkward, introvert or extrovert.
We're the woo, the witchy, the bitchy. We're conservative, liberal, or activist.
Roles show up everywhere in life.
Same as clubs... the mom club, the anti-vaxer club, the pro-lifer club... the entrepreneur club.
But, today I want to talk with you about how the role of a parent particularly is holding us in a place of management and of control, and actually keeping us from the present awareness we all would like to see nourishing between ourselves and our kids.
I then want to introduce you to the power of Relationship, which encourages us to dive deeper into who we are.
What do you want in your life, your parenting and for your kids? How does it feel?
And what contrast/challenge is stirring that desire within you?
I don't often talk about actual manifestation like this very often.
But since we've arrived in Spain, and without a doubt, truly manifested a beautiful house with a million dollar view of the Mediterranean sea, I want to talk to you about something super specific;
Yes. That's right. Did you know Spain has something called processional caterpillars which have little spikes they shoot out as defense and the spikes can kill a dog or cat and do some pretty serious damage to people as well?
Yeah... we didn't either.
But we manifested them all the same. How? What could we be visualizing or holding on to that would put us in the middle of a highly populated area of deadly insects?
Are you letting in the Universe support you or do you feel like it's down to you to do the work and connect?
This was the question I put towards the members within the new membership program last night when we had our first Meditation and Energy Offering Session...
and now I want to ask you.
Often, when we crave spiritual connection and when we set the intention for self development and self care within the busy schedule of being a parent we feel like we have to REACH for the spirit within us.
We push to focus on our breath.
We struggle to set the intention of what we want.
We squeeze out a drop of patience and calm, suppressing the tsunami of to-do lists and inner tantrums so we can find inner peace... and connect to our spirits.
What we forget, is that Spirit, Love, the Universe, God, Goddess, Source Energy, Great Divinity, Higher Self... what ever you want to name the nameless All that is,
is consistently flowing love and light our way.
You are love. Source Energy is Love. Like stars dancing through the milky way we are one with the universe.
The only separation is when we cut off from our true selves. Source Spirit, never leaves us.
So, when the kids are sick or having that tantrum,
when bills are piling up as well as snow,
when traffic is congested and maybe so are we,
when we want to complain and we do...
you might not be able to feel it, or see it, or touch it... but you are being sent love, light, healing, solutions, options...
I remember when my girls were 6 or 7,
They were 10 months apart, completely different temperaments and then they would disagree.
They used to fight. Oof. It would get bad.
The need to fix things fast would flood over me, but in that gush of panic, I would also feel like I was drowning.
What was the right thing to say that would build them both up? What wouldn't damage them? What would stop the fight without someone being “wrong”? What would create peace?
Why couldn't everyone just be filled with sunshine and rainbows All the Time!
Now, 10 years later... I just heard them go to their rooms to do their schoolwork for the day... and calling out “I Love you” to each other.
And I breathe.
During those frantic days, there was always a call from the back of my mind, to stop pushing, to stop worrying and to pull out the spiritual, mindful tools I'd known for years.
Sometimes, I just didn't trust my heart and I'd go down a rabbit hole of trying to “fix” things.
But then other times... I'd practice mindful awareness .and spiritual connection and it would all take a different shift. It would ease.
Just the right words would flow from my mouth... or no words at all.... I'd just sit and listen and hug and help.
I just I counted how many weeks it is until January 1.
The answer… 6 weeks.
Gulp. Why did I do that? LOL
So as it suddenly feels like there's a rush as we barrel towards holiday season and the end of 2018, I want to offer you an exercise that will help support your self development and conscious living even through the busy days.
Now is not the time to live solely on the surface. Quite the opposite. Now is the time to shift to a deeper state of being.
Which is why I want to talk with you about “Conscious Gratitude”.
I don’t usually use the word Gratitude… I usually resonate with Appreciation because it feels like it creates more of an emotional shift, but when I heard Danielle Laporte use the phrase Conscious Gratitude the other day, I knew she would be discussing a deep resonance and full powered focus on giving Thanks.
I can’t think of a better focus during the week leading up to the American Thanksgiving…
But also, it is truly one of the best tools to align ourselves to staying Off that self sacrificing self. When we appreciate truly and fully we create an inner connection.
It’s like we plug ourselves in to a universal socket and we allow energy to flow through us, fuel us and support us through whatever chaos is piling up in front of us.
And let’s face it. There’s a lot of chaos.
I have a bit of a Holiday, Seasonal vision… for all of us.
We practice being ourselves, in a heart connected space, no matter the circumstance.
In simple terms...
We walk a little slower. Drive with a little more observance to the scenery. We let people line up in front of us at the cash, so we can stop and focus on our breath a few moments more.
We play in the toy aisle with our kids.
We let them do the decorating and make a mess.
We stop the pushing.
We take small moments of deep breathes and silent appreciations.
We give ourselves permission to fill our buckets, fill our wells, savor the smallest of joys.
Currently, here in Nova Scotia, the leaves have fallen and the smallest of animals are running to prepare for a long sleep.
There’s a sense of enclosure as well as closure.
There’s a sense of Endings and appreciating of the endings before the new beginnings.
Its the natural flow of all that is.
We can all miss this moment, can’t we?
Last week I was talking with a woman in town and when she found out I was a Parent Coach (the title I give myself when I think Energy Healer and Spiritually Aware Parent Coach is going to create way too big of conversation at the moment) She looked at me in confusion.
"WHAT'S A PARENT COACH?" she asked.
When I told her...
I coach parents to find their center and calm within when they are with their children so they can deal with behaviour as something deeper and not use punishment as an option...
Her response was...
How do you parent without punishment?
The Universe is always responding to what we're focused on. So,when life feels frantic and chaotic, sadly things just keep building on that momentum.
The law of attraction can easily pick up on a space of franticness, or on lack of time. We can hold those stories up and the universe sees them, hears them and feels them and responds to it as...
More of this please.
So, when we hold up the sign of Stress. We get more stress. When we hold up the sign of scatteredness... Boom... life fragments even more.
Oof! (as my daughters like to say.)
But, that doesn't mean we're part of a vicious cycle of momentum, which is uncontrollably barreling down the hill of each day.
Rather, we simply need to find that inner pause button, Connect, and ease up on the story.... to allow one of relief to start to build new momentum.
Over at the Spiritually Aware Parenting Community, I've been offering these simple tools to feel connection with You again.
Because when you can connect to the deeper version of YOU, everything else seems to fall into place.
Well, she's been at high school for 3 days and already it's time to have that talk.
How to find the space and mindfulness practice to keep connected to Who You Really Are when you are in chaos.
(If you thought I meant a different talk I can assure you that all took place awhile back... but even in that discussion staying true to yourself and who you want to be has been the theme.)
My daughter loved her first few days at our local high school.
She manifested courses she likes, which are easy and fun.
She has meant some great friends already, she's surprised at her own confidence and ability to talk to groups. She feels like herself.
But then she's coming home, and collapsing into bed. Exhausted.
When 9/11 hit I was in Glastonbury, UK having been pulled to visit there on a spiritual quest.
Spirit had called me and I had answered.
No, really. I had been called.
I had found myself in the UK quite suddenly having said I was going out of the blue.
The plan was barely out of my mouth when the money showed up by chance.
So, for September 2001, I was backpacking, writing a novel and researching a spiritual documentary program for youth I was developing for Channel 5 in the UK, it was called "Spirit in My Suitcase."
I’d traveled down to Cornwall only to be spiritually "told" in the middle of the night, get to Glastonbury on the 7am bus.
When your only focus is connection and spiritually aware living... things like that happen.
I’d gotten in the habit of listening to that calling.
So onto the bus I jumped.
Well, the school’s been phoned, registration is next week and my eldest starts on the 4th.
And while I sit in my room with fingers crossed that she won’t like it, my girl is eagerly excited to start her first day in high school.
She won’t like it… right? Surely!
But still, she will try it.
We’ve homeschooled since day one and the reasons behind that have been varied.
Yes, I’ve wanted them to have individual educational experiences, with the space to follow their passions and interests.
Yes, I love the freedom. We’ve not done half enough traveling as we intended and world schooling is knocking at my heart begging to give it a try… but still the ability to know we can go when we want etc. That’s important to me.
But mostly, I love being together. I love sharing our worlds together.
I’ve loved homeschooling, despite the scattered and sometimes confusing time of it we’ve had over the years.
And although my eldest is off to try high school because she’s always been curious, we still have 2 here at home with us.
So, today I thought I’d share what resources we’ll be using this year. (Because people often ask!)
I want to discuss this big homeschooler question with you... and then I'm going to share some experiences as well as talk a bit about how my daughter's use of Oak Meadow has truly supported this approach of ours.
It's a big blogpost today, as we approach August and a lot of readers are considering or embarking on homeschooling next month.
As a homeschooler, I've been planning and discussing our social studies experiences in various homeschooling reports for years now.
My kids and I have used the umbrella term to cover everything from selling eggs at a stall at the end of our drive as a way to study business, to learning about geography and different countries, cultures and then back to our own.
There was also the year I created the Emotional Awareness and Law of Attraction Sections from the Spiritual Kids Course and used them for Social Studies.
This year though, my kids and I have been truly studying the true meaning of the term.
Yes. That's right.
See a few months ago our girls asked if they could go down to the city to attend a local mini comic con. They worked for ages on their costumes, hand sewing each small detail, and we drove them down to see what would be the result.
Well, they met up with a group of new friends, whom they have been in touch with ever since. From playdates in the park to video calls, they have dove into the deep end of friendships which even resulted in the group going to an alternative prom in June. They are so happy and are loving the new paradigm shift with LOTS OF NEW EXPERIENCES.
I have really been appreciating being here in the country these past few months as it's given our girls the opportunity to practice all of this in slow motion in a lot of ways.
They go into socializing experiences and then are able to retreat, observing how things have flowed and learning from each experience. They've been "caught up" a few times, but then faced it head on and developed the skills to get clarity, shift focuses and shine as themselves each time.
When people discuss homeschooling the point most often brought up is “what about socializing?”
well after the last few months, I'm actually fascinated by this question!
3 things I've learnt with my teens which I'm finding is really vital to keep at the forefront of focus with them when discussing friends and the world.
I was visiting Brene Brown's site today and I found this image that was available as a download for your desktop. I quickly downloaded it and personalized my home screen with it... and I had to share it with you as well.
Because this... this is a powerful statement.
This weekend was the start of JULY! How did that happen?
And while we here in Nova Scotia celebrated Canada Day, and all of my friends and neighbors in the states are looking forward to July 4th... the truth is we all know that summer has officially arrived.
And with that, we start making plans for beach days, holidays, playdays, sunbathing days, parkdates, picnics...
We get our long sheets of paper out and start with the lists... the agendas out to figure out how to fit it all in, around our businesses, our work and our children's routine so they have stability.
We feel the summer start to slip away and it's not even begun.
And that very feeling, is what I want to discuss with you today.
I read the other day a very poignant post that someone had written.
It said "We have approximately 18 summers to enjoy with our children. Make this one count."
But as my children grow older, I happen to know this hits too close to home.
So, today my quest, my Summer mission, is to offer you some tools and opportunities that will help you drop the To-Do list, Stop in your tracks... Rest your mind, Nurture your Spirit and Play... with your children and your own inner self.
Winnie the Pooh, on a hunt for huffalumps and woozles, walks around in a tree following tracks in the snow. The prints keep multiplying as he walks around, unable to catch up with the creature.
They multiply again when Piglet joins him.
Pooh and Piglet get quite worried when they start to see the large amount of tracks that must be made by “ferocious” animals chasing them. Until Christopher Robin sets the story straight.
The tracks were made by Pooh and Piglet themselves.
We can all be pursuing something that’s within us all along.
And we can all be scared of What’s Out there, so forget to recognize it in the first place,
In other words. In every step of the journey, you have arrived.
I was raised with the idea of a ladder. That life was about learning how to “be good” and that we often failed.
So, it’s crossed my mind that maybe people are wondering why I’ve talked so much about the journey my daughter and I have taken with the homeschool curriculum, Oak Meadow.
Why, right? When my work is focused on Spiritually Aware Parenting and really my blog should be reflecting mindfulness and spiritual alignment for parents and kids?
Well, you probably know that there’s nothing more exciting, or exhilarating than when you find something that helps support your child: especially when its something that deals with a challenge that has always been there.
Oak Meadow came at a time when I was noticing my younger daughter was struggling with not only her schoolwork, but her sense of herself, her confidence, how she learnt and how she absorbed information.
As I’ve told you in past blogs, Oak Meadow has given her the tools and awareness to delve into topics from a self aware perspective. She not only completes the projects and sets her own schedules and routines, which builds her sense of Who She is even more, but she’s also learning and reading about so many different elements of life that we never would have been able to explore before.
This winter Gia went into the Oak Meadow Grade 8. She wanted to mix things up, and since she was so eager to dive into the English Section, she chose to focus one topic at a time, rather than scattering them through the week.
I can’t blame her for wanting to work through the English.
This time, Oak Meadow exceeded even themselves.
The grade 7 English worked hand in hand with the World History section. But this time, English takes a front seat and becomes a core unit all by itself.
This is produced seamlessly through 4 elements. The course book, which breaks down all of your projects and lesson focuses, as well as how to use the rest of the supporting material.
The works of fiction, which exemplify the lesson.
From some sci-fi works such as A Wrinkle in Time, The Giver and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, to classics such as The Hobbit and Tom Sawyer, I truly felt I could relax knowing Gia was getting a strong foundation in some important pieces of literature.
The other elements were for writing itself, and she was instructed on how to use them within the course book. These included Writing for 100 days, which Gia LOVED. Although it is written for classwork, OM guided her around the work she could do independently and she enjoyed it’s structure and space it gave her to write in.
The last element shocked me as it was the Strunk and White book The Elements of Style. I remember my sisters using this book in university, so it was rather surprising to see my grade 8-er working her way through the notes on the design of writing. She really did well with it (and is enjoying explaining semi colons, colons and various grammar to her older sister.)
Last month I was happy to be able to attend a homeschooling conference in Halifax, where I represented Oak Meadow’s amazing work. I still can’t get over how effortless it is to discuss this work side by side with my work of Spiritually Aware Parenting… because watching how my daughter has grown as herself and with the knowledge she has attained… it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. It really is exactly what I was hoping for for her.
She’s now off to work through the Science.
That’s going to be a challenge for her, as she naturally gravitates towards the English and reading, especially when it’s full of imaginary worlds. I’m fascinated to see how OM creates a platform of curiosity as she dives into further into the Scientific studies. (They did a wonderful job in the grade 7, but there's definitely a deeper element being offered with this grade 8 curriculum.)
I popped into the facebook group, after having a rather restless night with my son.
Here’s what I posted:
“My son couldn't get to sleep tonight... he was tossing and turning,
What with the storm outside and a huge clap of thunder there was a lot of electric energy in the air and he's so sensitive... After a couple of hours of him trying and also trying to help him relax... I pulled out the energy work.
After some sweeps of his energy and grounding his feet, as well as surrounding him in light... he was asleep within 10 minutes.
I could tell it was what he needed the way his body gave a jolt as it relaxed...
I used to get really stressed when my kids couldn't sleep. I would feel the tension rise up within me which would of course make them stressed as well. It was awful.
But now, I see sleep as a spiritual aspect of life and I love having the opportunity to practice little spiritual tools with my kids to help them connect as they drift off for their nightly journeys.”
Why does this work? (I'll share how further in the post)
Throughout the day our children are thinking, moving, and living fully in their physical experience. When you do an energy clearing, you are clearing any blocks of resistance all that physical observing may have created.
The other night my family and I went to see the film A Wrinkle in Time, which was one of my favorite books growing up. There is nothing more satisfying than having a film reflect the energy found in a book. Although a few changes had been made, it did nothing to affect the general theme of the story:
That within us, all of us, we have the power of love;
which can overcome any darkness, challenge or obstacle.
In fact, with poignant detail, it amplified the message to empower our children in the current world we live in.
Young Meg, who is shown to have such low sense of self worth since her father’s disappearance, is called to be a light warrior along with her brother, Charles Wallace and friend, Calvin. Together they travel to a dark place, run by a Dark Energy Force IT, on a rescue mission to save her father. It’s weapon is that voice of self doubt, negative brain chatter, jealousy, anger, frustration and it can travel the universe. It leads to destruction.
And the only tool to defeat it is LOVE.
I read this book, and it’s sequels, growing up, and again quite recently, so I was so eager to share the film experience with my children.
My 8.5 year old, movie-sensitive, son had no idea what to expect, but enjoyed it. (He might have had his head in my arm for the climax at the end, but I think he appreciated the clear contrast between light and dark, hero and challenge... rather than the murky grey that is often offered in films these days.)
My daughters read the book for the first time about 6 years ago, but then my younger daughter had just finished the book again for her GRADE 8 Oak Meadow Curriculum. So it was fresh in her mind and, because of the curriculum, she was able to experience it from a fuller perspective probably than the rest of us.
I am so excited that Oak Meadow included this book in the grade 8. My happy student was asked to produce an essay/book report after she was done and was given a list of questions which guided her into a deeper perspective of the book’s symbolism.
This is so important, as it really is a relevant story for our lives.
The book’s author, Madeleine L’Engle has always been a hero of mine. She wrote about Spirituality, self empowerment and vulnerability as well as science through the craft of a novel and her non-fiction. I think she submitted A Wrinkle in Time about 40 times before it found a publishing home. She was passionate. She was a light warrior in New York, and in her lifetime.
Yes, the Newberry award winning book is a common inclusion in school curriculum, but I found Oak Meadow brought it to life in a beautiful way, diving deep into the question of why the power of love could defeat the dark force, when nothing else, including genius and high intelligence, could.
My daughter loves to focus on one topic at a time in Oak Meadow, and with the selection of books in this year English was her first choice to start off with.
So far she’s read The Giver, A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Lord of the Flies, all before A Wrinkle in Time… she’s moving through them in such a passionate, yet beautiful manner.
The curriculum also asks her to work through the book Writing for 100 Days, which as challenged her writing and her grammar in ways that empowered her and gave her concrete tools, all at the same time of providing her with stories based in self discovery and empowerment.
She’s so much more confident in her writing and in her processing of the written word and a sense of self. (Which I didn’t think was possible. If there was one thing I thought I’d homeschooled well in up to this point, it was English. But, Oak Meadow has truly inspired a more profound and detailed use of the written word in my girl.)
I found it also amazing that during the chapters of A Wrinkle in Time she was asked to do stream of subconscious writing. A process I often suggest to my own clients.
Why is all of this important and what am I expressing here?
We live in a time when there’s a lot of fear happening in our world,
it’s vital to give empowering tools to our children.
Watching films, or reading books, like A Wrinkle In Time remind them that within them are powerful tools, universal connections, and that so many “events and circumstances had to come together in just the right way for them to come here.” (to loosely quote Oprah Winfrey’s character in the film)
In other words, each child, each person is special, unique and here for a purpose. When we give purpose and tools for empowerment to our children, a sense of belonging, they can be like Meg and overcome their fear with love from within.
Reading, watching or hearing stories that spark this truth within our children is a huge step in creating a better world for them.
I am so thankful that curriculum like Oak Meadow, and film creators are beginning to recognize this fundamental step in a child’s (yikes… teen’s) development and education. With their crafted curriculum lessons they give students confidence, encouragement and tools to move forward with. It’s exhilarating.
I can’t believe that a year ago my daughter Gia was still struggling with schoolwork.
Oh my goodness, what a tangled mess we used to live in. She hated standard curriculum, would zone out if I suggested movies or educational videos like those her sister was using. She was staggering, literally staggering, through a few programs we’d found and she would often make herself sick by giving herself pressure to do things that felt so un-natural to her. Often I would suggest unschooling to her, but this worked against her desire for structure, for routine.
We know we both work well with routine and rebel against it at the same time.
I relate so much to my girl. We look a lot alike, but more we learn alike. I was home-schooled off and on when I was growing up, and the concept of sitting and memorizing what people told me to, without any explanation why, without any dramatic build so I could feel it in my soul… it was like pulling teeth!
But last year we started the grade 7 Oak Meadow curriculum with my girl, and it all changed.
I myself was home-schooled a lot of my childhood (have I ever told you that?) and my mom was left with very little choice to what programs I could be enrolled in.
Back then it was workbooks… really, really boring workbooks which left no room for imagination what so ever. My children are shocked at my stories of standing in front of the basement door which had a multiplication table poster hanging on it. I would recite and recite with tears streaming down my face.
We worked through some interesting approaches with what was available, I must admit:
My older sisters trying to teach me about the planets by using balls in our living room. My mom buying a set of Harvard Classics telling me that if I read them all my education was done. Oh, then the famous time I had to take my GED at 16, as the agreed way to get me into the College Theatre Program I’d set my heart on...
It was the biggest, boring-est workbook to date!
But apart from being bored, I often felt restricted with the subconscious belief that I had to go through a back door to succeed or cheating a system.
I often felt like I wasn’t getting something.
That I just couldn’t grasp certain things.
As I continued my education, going through College and University, that disappeared, but I knew as I overcame certain stumbling blocks, that homeschooling was a wonderful opportunity, but it needed better tools in place for parents.
I want my kids education process to set them free not hold them back. (I got accepted into the theatre program by the skin of my teeth. My math scores were shameful.)I want them to be able to move through exams, essays or life experiences with a confident flow, not because they are so used to doing them, but because they aren’t afraid to make mistakes or to learn how things work.
I have 3 kids and each one learns completely differently, as I’ve often mentioned. But one clear element remains the same;
The mission here is to learn how to learn.
. I don’t want them to feel intimidated to make a mistake, to have to make a certain mark, I want them knowing that mistakes are gifts, because (as all scientists know) they give us knowledge of what works and what doesn’t. Mistakes are as important as successes.
My 8 year old went outside in the snow yesterday and built a snowman for an hour and a half… alone. This is new patterns for him and I’m excited to seeing him exploring them. When he came in, I shook off his wet clothes, handed him his hot chocolate and told him… no reading practice today unless he wanted to. He didn’t.
“I build snowmen for schoolwork.” He laughed. “I have the best life.”
At 8, I want him living creatively, productively and knowing the satisfaction of learning something new. I want to see him playing to his hearts content… which since his sisters are older he’s always struggled to find the rhythm to. He learned jingle bells on the piano the other day and it was like a light going on. He still forgets what fun is found in learning. Same as the other day when he did some reading practice, he was so satisfied to see the new reality that he can actually read, having been stuck in the pattern of thinking he couldn’t.
This has been so re-occurring in my children’s individual journeys through home schooling. The concept of “schoolwork” is often seen with negative connotations and that creates a block around how they learn.
At one point with my second daughter we actually stopped using the term schoolwork, instead it was called Pineapple every time we had to do it.
She was so much like me when I thought boring workbooks was the only way my kids would learn. She would just lay on her book and cry.
But then, as I've mentioned, we discovered Oak Meadow, which fits her like it was custom made. We put her a year “behind” so she could get a strong, confident start in the program and she is like a different girl. She’s confident, she’s honest and upfront, she doesn’t hesitate in mistakes anymore or feel like she has to reach for a brass ring.
Rather, Oak Meadow has allowed schoolwork to transform into Learning… and that is the life process, right?
(by the way, Oak Meadow is sponsoring one of the days on the homeschooling conference and I think they may be having some nice treats to go along with that… and I can’t recommend the program enough!)
Our eldest girl… oh she dreams of high school.
Well actually I think as she gets older she’s starting to see the bigger picture of University and other adventures… but still she’s eager to jump into life. She sometimes starts to spin about opportunities missed by walking the home-school route. And yet, I always remind her, homeschoolers are sought by Universities for their ability to self regulate and learn. She has the ability to be building her blog at the same time as working on her algebra. She loves to push herself and now her interests and passions are being thrown into the mix of her educational pursuits. Music and blog writing has made the “schoolwork” list, helping her remember that “work” doesn’t always have to be things that we don’t like. Pleasure, learning, work and
I’m interested to see how she works with teachers who expect her to get things right, as in how they want it, rather than how she knows she can learn it. She was working through core-curriculum work, but I love watching how she suddenly finds different solutions to problems and learns things quickly, ready to bounce off to the next adventure.
Homeschooling has truly allowed my kids to grow confidently, self aware and with a joy in actual learning. Also, I’ve learned so much along side of them.
Actually that’s another thing about homeschooling. It has taught me that I don’t have to stop learning as well. There’s no expiration date on knowledge. (And thanks to Oak Meadow, I think I finally understand grade 7 math!)
I often talk about the law of attraction and, although, manifestation can have different connotations for different people, we all manifest daily, within each moment.
It’s just that we can live life more consciously and aware than we often do.
When we set an intention, we hold a thought, an idea, of something we would like to experience, or a shift in how we feel or live.
This intention has a feeling space, and when we use our imaginations to actually FEEL that feeling, our spirits, our hearts and even our cells within our bodies, don’t know it’s not actually happening.
Have you ever played an imaginary game with your child?
It’s so funny, because I so often resist playing pretend, and I don’t do it half as often as I wish I did… but when I do, when I actually get involved in a game with my kids, oh there’s nothing better. My son and I used to have a game where we had a magic car that would time travel and turn into whatever we needed. We rescued animals and saved the world on numerous occasions. The amazing thing was within that moment, there was always a moment, when we both just let go of our current perspective and lived within that game. We both would see the animals in danger, we both felt the adrenaline of excitement as we pulled them into our car for safety.
As parents, we can observe our children, watch their behaviors and mannerisms and basically try to guess how they truly feel about something they are experiencing. Sure we can ask them honest questions, but deep down, we know there’s a chance the answer being given is the one our children assume we want to hear.
Often our children might not know their inner truths themselves.
In my own experience, it is only in the still of the night, when all is calm, that I can quietly feel my way to how things are unfolding for my children and if there’s any new ways I can support them.
Early on this year in one of these moments, I suddenly found myself feeling the need to help our, then 13 year old, daughter, Gia, and I’m so glad that once we acknowledged the issue, we were able to allow in such a glorious solution. She's going to share her thoughts and experiences with you in a moment... but here's some background.
January 2016 was a strange month in our homeschooling journey.
She’d pushed herself through some painful lessons on line before Christmas the month before, had plowed through a workbook that had given her no joy. Our Gia is our natural joy-lover.
This week we finally put our tree up and it was so exciting to see how our three children really dove into it this year.
At the same time, I had to do a little bit of inner work to really release the outcome and allow it to flow.
You see, I have this box of Christmas decorations which we’ve been lumbering around with us for the past 15 years.
They’ve been carefully gathered and collected over our family’s childhood. Many of them were bought in the UK from when we lived over there when our girls were small.
There are the few things that were gifted to us during a particularly broke time.
There’s even a small angel decoration that I made for my husband’s and my first Christmas together. (We were “in-between” countries, not knowing where to settle so not really wanting to buy a lot of things. We had a small apartment and at the last moment I decided we needed to decorate for Christmas after all. The little angel’s face was done with embroidery thread and her body was ribbon found in the bottom of a sewing basket. Her head was literally the blower of a bubble bottle, covered in material. Every year I hang her on the tree with fondness.)
Over the years our box of decorations has been bashed around as it traveled from place to place with us.
Not only that, many a time I’ve stressed about its wellbeing, begging my husband to do check ins on its care. There was the couple of Christmases it had been left in storage and I would mourn the little angel or special trinkets that wouldn’t be on the tree that year.
There’s even been late night panic attacks where I’ve planned fire escapes and wondered how to get that box of decorations out from wherever it was stored.
At a certain point I’ve had to ask the magic question of “why?”
Why? Why was a box of decorations so important?
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.