Well, she's been at high school for 3 days and already it's time to have that talk.
How to find the space and mindfulness practice to keep connected to Who You Really Are when you are in chaos.
(If you thought I meant a different talk I can assure you that all took place awhile back... but even in that discussion staying true to yourself and who you want to be has been the theme.)
My daughter loved her first few days at our local high school.
She manifested courses she likes, which are easy and fun.
She has meant some great friends already, she's surprised at her own confidence and ability to talk to groups. She feels like herself.
But then she's coming home, and collapsing into bed. Exhausted.
Totally understandable. There's been a momentum, a build up to this event, the energy has been created for awhile. She's not used to putting herself out there, to showing up and being social for 7 hours a day.
She's been used to being at home, having video chats with friends, going out every couple of days, chatting with people for a bit, but nothing too frantic. Just easy going, with a lot of focus on Who She Is... and who she wants to be.
Suddenly, she's finding life LOUD, FAST, and Frantic. She was expecting some time to explore the school, go to the library and find quiet corners, but with people pouring down the stairs when she's trying to go up them, she's finding it difficult to even find the concept of quiet.
So, the conversation, or the quest this past weekend was...
Finding the refuel space, the mindful space, in home.
My eldest has been a little dubious about all my talk of mindful practices. She didn't fully understand the need.
Now, I do believe she does.
Contrast is a beautiful thing sometimes, it really is the best teacher. As when we feel the opposite to something, we can find clarity and deeper appreciation for what we have already or learn what we crave more of.
So, what sort of mindfulness practices or connection focuses is she looking at.
She's going to start coming home, having a quiet coffee with her family and then having some sketching time. She's not letting any social media happen with schoolmates, rather home is home and school is school.
She'll have a shower each evening, and take some quiet time to be away from the world... so she can find quiet within and refill her well...
So she can dive back into the world the next day.
Talking with her about this over our breakfast this morning got me thinking about how this is the next stage in parenting, when all the foundations flow in and the pieces fall into place. Where all the talk about self awareness and practice of self connection makes sense to our children.
And yes, it truly does start with our own practices.
We don't jump on a bus and head to home to escape the noise of our chaos.
As parents, our frantic mess is usually around us from getting up to bedtime. It is so easy to be in the space of rushing, or noise and of busyness (it doesn't even have to be productive, right? Just busyness and go...go... going!)
So, if you can't get off a bus and establish quiet time, how do you create a practice of self
connection and calm? How do you refuel and re-centre after a frantic day?
There's a few ways and I'll tell you something, the space to set up is the inner room we each have within our hearts and minds.
We all have a quiet space, where once we can shift focus away from the chaos and outside functioning of the world around us, we can refocus on the person we are from the inside out.
We can connect to the unique spark within us, and allow that to refuel, recharge and reignite.
Because when we can find centre in the chaos of home, we offer the same tools to our children when they are faced with their own chaos.
And that, that is one of the most important things we can offer them as they grow.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.