This was actually a post I wrote 3 years ago.
And yet, I was reminded about it today when I was talking about the resistance parents have sometimes to putting the tools in place to just... feel better.
I do it myself sometimes. I see a program that would bring relief and probably create some amazing manifestations in my life, creating joy, laughter and flow through the process...
but then I put my attention on the grind and daily chores, putting off what feels like relief for the struggle.
But I have to ask... "how can I create relief, from struggle?" that makes no sense!
Yes, as humans we all have patterns that need to be re-paved. So, it's time...
Time to take your hand off of the hot stove.
When I was starting my positive parenting path, it coincided with my discovery of the teachings of Abraham Hicks… and the the concept of taking your hand off the hot stove really transformed my way of thinking.
When I first was introduced to the work of Abe and Esther, my husband and I ordered a CD of theirs (yeah… remember ordering CDs?). We listened to it so often that I can still hear some of it word for word in my head….
“We just want to encourage you to take your hand off the stove. But you say ‘ I can’t. My mother put her hand on the stove, her mother put her on the stove… it’s just what we do. The day I was born they told me to put my hand on the stove.” And we say, try it. And you sigh and say ‘it is sweet relief to take my hand off the stove. But who am I to take my hand off, when even my government and world has their hands on the stove?’ we say, put your hand back on the stove if you want to, but now you know that you have the choice.”
What’s the stove? Pressure. Struggle. Stress. The perception that life has to be hard, that success has to be achieved, that we have to push to get what we want.
That parenting has to be a painful journey with a lot of heartache… and our children will end up rebelling against us. That we have to control them, or cajole them to be the people we want them to be. (blech!) That we can't feel relief, or centre, or spiritual connection without long periods of time for healing and rehashing the past.
We can take our hands off that stove of struggle, of pain.
What I love about this image is the actual relief it sparks within me. I imagine having my hand in pain and then just lifting it off. I don’t need to pry it with all my might. I don’t need to push. I just need to remember that I have what it takes to just lift my hand out of the fire. I have what it takes to breathe deep and be. But I still forget. I still put it right back on there
What Abraham forgets to mention (mainly because they are a spiritual consciousness being channeled through Esther Hicks) is that as physical people, we also have neural pathways that pull us back into our old patterns.
Each morning, as if on cue, we will get out of bed and put our hands back on that stove, unless we put some tools in place to remind ourselves that each day can be different. We can make a different choice.
I often talk about how complaining literally becomes part of us and how gratitude (appreciation) breaks the pathways of negative perspective.
But it does take that choice of lifting our hands off of the high pressure world, in fact, making that choice each day, is really all it takes.
I remember when I was in theatre school, I would sit listening to what the teacher would tell us our project was or what was expected from us. I remember thinking “nah… I can’t even imagine myself doing that.” And then within a few weeks I’d be doing stage-fighting, or climbing 20ft scaffolding, or reciting some long piece of Shakespeare prose.
I soon learned that it was just about jumping in and not pushing against it, and taking the step by step path before me. I’d get there in the end.
Sometimes it just takes focusing on the “headlights”… because just like when you drive at night you can only see a few feet in front of you with the help of your headlights, and yet you always end up at your destination. This is so true in life…
Sometimes, the only step that’s clear is to take your hand off of the hot stove.
It's time. It's really, really time.
We have made things so complicated, but as a spiritual being having a physical experience you can STOP and CLAIM your inner, unique power simply by...
Claiming it. Ease the pressure just a bit, but lifting your hand... up!
When we can just find that relief, even if everything around us is busy.
Focus on headlights, focus on love, light and relief. You’ll get there in the end.
Want to know more about my 6 week intensive coaching program to help shift from frustration to connection with yourself and your kids?
If you have been practicing keeping your hand on that hot stove, or practicing a story of struggle and frustration for too long and you want to release it to make room for joy and relief, I'd love to hear from you and have you apply. Learn more here.
With the last full moon and it's partial eclipse over I have had a lot of moms come to me and say...
“Christina, I released what's no longer serving me. I let it go. Why does it keep showing up?”
I hear you. One of the energies I released was stress regarding a tooth that keeps playing me up and I found myself calling a new dentist. (releasing comes in various forms, I was hoping it would just go away.)
When I sat to write this post I held the topic of Releasing and Healing to my heartspace and got back:
“Releasing takes releasing, not revisiting to see if you've let it go yet.”
And, like my tooth, sometimes the releasing takes the discomfort of having something showing up again and again so you can release it once and for all.
So often we look at what doesn't serve us... beliefs, situations, habits... and tell ourselves that they truly must go.
But what we forget is that in order to release them we have to create a new story where they don't exist at all.
Spirit releases them the moment we decide they must be released. Our spiritual greater part moves quickly to the relief and newness of living without it.
But then... our humanness gets in the way sometimes:
We think about what we released, we remind ourselves on how it was, we talk about it, we consider it, we revisit and revisit... we can even be “glad it's gone.”
But where attention goes, energy flows.
So by putting the spotlight on what was released, you draw it back to you.
Have you ever noticed that when you tell yourself you aren't going to do something, the opportunity to do it again shows up really quickly. (Like when you tell yourself you'll stop yelling or losing your temper, just before your children start to argue.) That's just how it works.
So, how do you truly release things? How do you create that shift?
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.