At a time when you may find yourself surrounded by your loved ones more than you are used to and with life being a little more heightened in energy as 2020 is bringing forth a tsunami of emotions, you may be finding that your feeling triggered by those you care about more than you used to.
Therefore, let's talk about something that affects all of us: RELATIONSHIPS.
(And, yes, parenting is a relationship too.)
If you are feeling frustrated by other people and you find your thoughts swirling around idle chatter about things they do that drive you up a wall,
I wanted to give you a quick exercise to start feeling in flow with others again.
It’s a simple thing really. It all starts with the inner knowing that what you put your attention on GROWS.
This exercise works with everyone; from a newborn to grandparents, to the grouchy neighbour who starts mowing their grass when you just set down for a nap.
I'm being asked about homeschooling and how education looks like for the Fletcher crew a lot lately, so I thought I’d talk a bit about schooling..
And the fact that nothing needs to be forever.
It’s no secret that I’ve homeschooled our kids for the last 12 years. (Eek! How did that happen.)
It’s also no secret that each child has had a different curriculum and homeschooling “approach.”
And, then there’s also the fact that my eldest has been enrolled in school twice, once over in Wales when she was 9 and then in Canada for 3 months of high school.
We’ve worldschooled, unschooled, homeschooled, deschooled…. Schooled…We’ve online schooled, alternatively schooled… you name it.
We’ve flowed with what was needed at the time.
We’ve listened to the Next Right Step on every twist and turn and within that we’ve learnt to be flexible, be honest with ourselves and listen to our kids.
Because the fact that nothing is forever is really a huge lesson in parenting.
If you are sitting on the fence about homeschooling what’s to stop you from just trying it?
Or, if you feel called to try out the school of the new now, then follow your heart and try it, isn't it possible to change your mind?
My daughter needed to know what school was like, and she went twice in 12 years.
She loved it, she did. She did well. Our focus was emotional awareness and she never felt behind. But then it started to feel off, so she was back at home. (Well the last time she boarded a plane for Spain. Same thing!)
But nothing has to be forever.
You can listen to your heart, trust your intuition and give yourself permission to also change your mind based on the evolution of you and your kids. (Hey, sometimes your kids even come straight out and ask.)
On the other side, Be honest about what you can and cannot do.
Working at home with homeschooled kids took some rumbling with my own beliefs of what life needed to look like and honestly, sometimes it's just not possible for people financially or for other reasons. There's no shame in it. There's alternative solutions that can be found and balance that can be created.
I want to encourage you to co-parent with Spirit.
Spirit comes up with solutions you won’t be able to imagine possible when you release the worry and ask for guidance.
A few personal stories of this come up for me through my homeschooling journey with my kids.
First, the time my daughter was desperate to have that one friend, that special connection. (School or no school how many of us remember wanting the Diana to our Anne? That bosom friend.)
After helping her raise her emotional state so she could let it in, (LOA always has been a focus for our family) and taking the day to help her find inner balance, the universe and I had a little chat.
I asked for help, when the time was right, for a new experience for her as she was ready for a stretch.
I then, knowing it was being taken care of, let it go.
The very next day I had a phone call out of nowhere. Our area was starting a home- ed group and someone had passed on my name.
What followed was amazing friendships, classes and connections for my family over a period of 3 years.
Or, there was the time that our younger daughter was feeling insecure, comparing her learning technique to her core-curriculum driven older sister.
I asked the universe for a solution.
Within a couple of days I felt called to connect with Oak Meadow to see if I could review their curriculum and they wrote back saying yes within a few hours.
My daughter started on their Grade 7 curriculum and proceeded to thrive through their grade 8 and high school English program for the following 3 years. (You can read the posts regarding our experiences here)
You are being cared for and your child’s needs are being heard.
When my daughter first went to school it was sparked by a campaigning politician knocking on our door. She was a lovely woman and was talking about the school in our new area.
Our daughter over heard the conversation and expressed her curiosity. She was enrolled with a few days.
There can be so much stress around what we think we need to get our children and how to set them up for LIFE.
I’m here to say (with my eldest heading off to college in September and my other 2 continually picking up new lessons, tools, passions and interests… oh and friends.) that this is a life time experience, that flows over time.
There’s no one fit for all solution, or one solution for life.
We explore, shift, re-decide, discuss, evaluate, continually always looking for what’s in best alignment to who we really are.
Breathe deep. Go heart center. Put the request out for guidance. Listen to your child’s spirit and to your own.
Then try what feels best and give yourself permission to change your mind.
In these chaotic times I'm encouraging my clients and members to put their child's emotional, mental and spiritual well-being above grades. When a child knows themselves and know when they feel stressed or upset so they can seek balance, every education situation will flow better.
That's one of the reasons you should checkout my course SPIRITUAL KIDS, so you have a plethora of tools, crafts, worksheets, and activities to help a child know themselves, understand LOA, and know their heart center.
This program is made up of exercises I used for my own children and their schooling over the years. So feel free to check it out here.
So while everyone talks about quarantines, elderberry and wide-eyed fears, I wanted to offer my simple perspectives on feeling grounded, present and whole while the buzz of scary things is whirling around you.
I recently put this graphic together after having a conversation with a good friend of mine regarding the current panic of the coronavirus.
The reason is simple.
No matter what, everything in this world can be either focused in love or in fear and when the world is building momentum on fear, then you have to do what it takes to find your way back to LOVE.
What’s ironic is that FEAR itself is scientifically proven to weaken a human's immunity anyway, it creates stress which jumps your mind and heart into fight or flight mode.
You can start fighting mere ideas of fear rather than using this emotional tool for when you intuitively know there’s something to defend against.
In order to find your way back to your heart center, to find the comfort of love focus and the knowingness of aware living, there’s a few steps that will help you climb down from the panic fence and reclaim your heart and mind to feel calm.
Here's my 5 steps to calm a fearful mind. Also known as THE FEAR TOOLBOX
You can't put a happy face sticker on feeling scared.
Rather, it takes acknowledging it and moving through it.
I want to encourage you now to turn off anything that is trying to make you scared. Rather, go within your heart and ask it what it knows.
This is merely one element I work through in my course STEP INTO YOUR LIGHT.
It's important to listen to your heart, your own inner guidance. But so often it's buried under layers of shoulds, past stories or implied guilt.
If you are struggling with finding your intuitive guidance, feeling centered and remembering how to spark your own inner voice and connection to love, than I want to take this opportunity to invite you to join me for my upcoming study group of this course material.
Throughout this course I offer you simple tools and processes, where you can release what scares you and chart a course for your life based on connection and love.
In our private Facebook group, starting March 16th, 2020, I'll be offering you space, support and accountability, so you feel safe and prepared as you dive in heart center.
There is no better time to build up a strong foundation of love, light and inner, spiritual connection than when fear is pounding at your mind.
I truly hope you will consider joining me on this empowering, magical experience.
I know. Sometimes, having just a few suggestions and new tools can be like fresh air through an open window. Everything just looks different.
But also, sometimes the focus can feel like it's all on the action outside of you....
So often it can feel like your energy is focused on how to parent, and how to create connection with your kids.
But, as you know, I'm all about making sure that you find connection within, so you can feel grounded and present with your children, fully tuned in to Who You Really Are.
This year, I'm excited to have my Self Development course, Step into Your Light for just $127
I feel like this is really an important addition... because as parents I know how tempting it is to want to invest in the tools to "fix" your challenges.
I hear it all the time... parents will mention a challenge they are facing with their children, either in behavior, or sleep, or potty training or teen raising... and they ask "What can I do?"
The courses in this bundle will give you concrete solutions that will work a treat.
And yet, deeper down there's something else.
As parents it can be such a joy to invest in our kids.
How you can make a better life for them, how can you provide them with the best platform for learning, growing and love?
You can spend and spend looking for the perfect resource and tool.
And yet at the same time, Self Care is becoming a to-do list item that rarely gets met. It's falling to the sideline and getting lost in solo trips to Target or long bubble baths.
So often, busy parents who are successfully navigating their child through day to day activity, are also craving something else.
A deeper sense of guidance, of connection... of present living.
This was my motivation in creating Step into Your Light.
I actually started the process of creating the course with a simple question posted in numerous groups...
"Do you feel lost in the role of being a Mom?"
The replies were astounding.
Now to be fair, there were many who replied, no. That being a mom was what they'd always dreamed of.
But the majority replied that they longed to connect to the still voice of themselves and it was currently lost in the chaos of it all.
At the same time though, they would invest in things for their kids, for their parenting, but were struggling in investing for "self care".
Because, with the variety of courses, you are getting a chance to invest in your parenting, in your children and at the same time, invest in creating that connection within yourself, so you can truly shine as the authentic parent you want to be from a deep, heart centred place.
Recently, as I sat imagining you purchasing the bundle, I had a little twinge of new desire.
I love working with my clients and connecting with parents who are enrolled in my programs or memberships.
Within my focus to help you clear what's been holding you back so you can feel light, ease and in flow before the end of this decade... there's something I need to talk with you about.
It's big... are you ready?
Well actually, I don't necessarily call it the F-word, because I find that, like so many words, forgiveness can have different feelings and intentions for everyone.
The word Forgiveness can sometimes trigger a sense of blame or a sense of self loathing, it can sometimes spark defense within one person or the sanctimonious "I forgive you!" which can carry a new weight within.
And yet... within the deep sense of forgiveness is the pure, unwavering, blissful sense of
I always encourage my clients to focus on RELEASING... releasing themselves, releasing others, releasing situations, releasing energetic response, releasing the stories of what is.... the inward releasing which creates Presence and WHOLENESS from the inside out.
I truly believe the focus of Forgiveness is actually based in loving releasing.
Imagine that with every negative experience you have with someone, energetic cords link you together. Each time you are with the person or in a similar situation, these cords get reactivated and practiced, sparking away.
When you practice forgiveness... or releasing, you shift the energy, release the cords and allow new life to flow through your experience.
This has magical results, transforming relationships, creating light conversation where before there was only tension, or even simply letting the energy fade away, so that you don't seem to even "bump" into each other anymore.
A traditional process to "forgive" that is mentioned on social media is the Ho'oponopono prayer.
The idea being that you hold someone or something in your mind within these phrases:
I'm Sorry. Please Forgive Me. I Thank you. I love you.
I have heard incredible stories of transformation with these simple words, so I want to encourage you to simply try them on. See how they feel and if they resonate.
However, I will also make space for the fact that when I first tried them on, they didn't resonate. I felt like the please forgive me phrase kept me in a feeling bad space and actually made the focus on releasing only myself. Each exchange we have with other people is a co-creation... so I like to offer these phrases instead.
I'm Sorry. I Release you. I Thank you. I love you.
I appreciate the transformations the traditional version has brought to many, but between translation and past triggers I find that this can hold back that deeper shift that is so magical for some people.
Here's the intention behind the statements;
Holding someone or a situation in your mind surround it in...
I'm Sorry. (By saying Sorry you are noting that everything is a co-creation. You were there in the room so your energy was part of the combined energy. Like chemistry, two compounds create a reaction.)
I Release You. (Imagine the cords unhooking from your field and being released back to the person. See them fade. This doesn't necessarily mean they will be out of your life forever, rather it is simply claiming your energy as your own... and returning their energy to them.)
I Thank You. (Each engagement, even a negative one, creates growth and new insight. We learn so much through contrast, we learn what we want through what we don't want. We GROW. So giving thanks for the experience acknowledges the growth.)
I Love You. (Imagine surrounding the situation or person in love and light, allowing them to be whole and released from you, see the love flowing around them... and the love flowing around yourself. )
Have you ever practiced a Forgiveness/Releasing Process? How have you found it? Did it create shifts for you?
I have been working through this process with clients and members for the last couple of years, but I really started hearing about the impact it was having when I included it into my course Step Into Your Light.
I included this within the Releasing Your Shadows section, which is the second part of the course and designed to let go of what's not serving you and open up the doors to feeling present and aware as the person you want to be.
I always love the deep sigh of sweet relief that follows truly releasing someone or something that you have energetic ties to. Forgiveness is actually the ultimate act of Self Care.
This is a true and deep reset, which creates new space for life to flow effortlessly into the direction of your desires.
This was actually a post I wrote 3 years ago.
And yet, I was reminded about it today when I was talking about the resistance parents have sometimes to putting the tools in place to just... feel better.
I do it myself sometimes. I see a program that would bring relief and probably create some amazing manifestations in my life, creating joy, laughter and flow through the process...
but then I put my attention on the grind and daily chores, putting off what feels like relief for the struggle.
But I have to ask... "how can I create relief, from struggle?" that makes no sense!
Yes, as humans we all have patterns that need to be re-paved. So, it's time...
Time to take your hand off of the hot stove.
When I was starting my positive parenting path, it coincided with my discovery of the teachings of Abraham Hicks… and the the concept of taking your hand off the hot stove really transformed my way of thinking.
When I first was introduced to the work of Abe and Esther, my husband and I ordered a CD of theirs (yeah… remember ordering CDs?). We listened to it so often that I can still hear some of it word for word in my head….
“We just want to encourage you to take your hand off the stove. But you say ‘ I can’t. My mother put her hand on the stove, her mother put her on the stove… it’s just what we do. The day I was born they told me to put my hand on the stove.” And we say, try it. And you sigh and say ‘it is sweet relief to take my hand off the stove. But who am I to take my hand off, when even my government and world has their hands on the stove?’ we say, put your hand back on the stove if you want to, but now you know that you have the choice.”
What’s the stove? Pressure. Struggle. Stress. The perception that life has to be hard, that success has to be achieved, that we have to push to get what we want.
That parenting has to be a painful journey with a lot of heartache… and our children will end up rebelling against us. That we have to control them, or cajole them to be the people we want them to be. (blech!) That we can't feel relief, or centre, or spiritual connection without long periods of time for healing and rehashing the past.
We can take our hands off that stove of struggle, of pain.
What I love about this image is the actual relief it sparks within me. I imagine having my hand in pain and then just lifting it off. I don’t need to pry it with all my might. I don’t need to push. I just need to remember that I have what it takes to just lift my hand out of the fire. I have what it takes to breathe deep and be. But I still forget. I still put it right back on there
What Abraham forgets to mention (mainly because they are a spiritual consciousness being channeled through Esther Hicks) is that as physical people, we also have neural pathways that pull us back into our old patterns.
Each morning, as if on cue, we will get out of bed and put our hands back on that stove, unless we put some tools in place to remind ourselves that each day can be different. We can make a different choice.
I often talk about how complaining literally becomes part of us and how gratitude (appreciation) breaks the pathways of negative perspective.
But it does take that choice of lifting our hands off of the high pressure world, in fact, making that choice each day, is really all it takes.
I remember when I was in theatre school, I would sit listening to what the teacher would tell us our project was or what was expected from us. I remember thinking “nah… I can’t even imagine myself doing that.” And then within a few weeks I’d be doing stage-fighting, or climbing 20ft scaffolding, or reciting some long piece of Shakespeare prose.
I soon learned that it was just about jumping in and not pushing against it, and taking the step by step path before me. I’d get there in the end.
Sometimes it just takes focusing on the “headlights”… because just like when you drive at night you can only see a few feet in front of you with the help of your headlights, and yet you always end up at your destination. This is so true in life…
Sometimes, the only step that’s clear is to take your hand off of the hot stove.
It's time. It's really, really time.
We have made things so complicated, but as a spiritual being having a physical experience you can STOP and CLAIM your inner, unique power simply by...
Claiming it. Ease the pressure just a bit, but lifting your hand... up!
When we can just find that relief, even if everything around us is busy.
Focus on headlights, focus on love, light and relief. You’ll get there in the end.
Want to know more about my 6 week intensive coaching program to help shift from frustration to connection with yourself and your kids?
If you have been practicing keeping your hand on that hot stove, or practicing a story of struggle and frustration for too long and you want to release it to make room for joy and relief, I'd love to hear from you and have you apply. Learn more here.
So here's the thing. Last week I broke my own rule.
I didn't meditate. (and before you start to think I'm talking about 20 minute downtimes... let me say this is a 2 minute thing for this busy mom.)
I had 3 mornings in a row that I had something to do, and quite honestly after the first 2 times of jumping up and running out the door, I literally had already forgotten my own practice.
I'm not a morning person.
I take my mornings very consciously. Mornings start with eyes open and “How do I want to Feel Today...”
or maybe even more so...
“Good morning God.” (Yeah... I call Source/Spirit/Universe God within my own heart. It became my spirit vocabulary when I was really young... but I use all terms readily.)
After that... Cuddles with my husband.... love expressions. Get up. Take the dog for a walk.
Then I have breakfast with my darlings. Possibly check my phone for emails.
Day plan discussions.
Then, I go upstairs and before work I stop, drop, breathe and do my inner connection practice.
2-5 minutes later, I'm ready to go.
So, actually, it's not really meditation. It's more that sense of drop and remember.
Remember who I am. Remember the Spiritual flow that is flowing. Remember my breath.
So, what happened when I ran without dropping...
Oh it wasn't pretty.
I felt the stress building, but it was that run away train building that leads to heart pumping tension and headaches.
I even noticed I wasn't remembering anything the way I usually do. (Honestly, I climbed into bed and had to wonder if I'd said goodnight to our eldest. I hadn't and she was waiting for me to turn out her light. An honor to be had by a near 17 year old.)
My thoughts were scattered. My focus all over the place. It felt rushed and...
outside of me.
Yeah. Life was being lived outside of me. I felt more reactionary. More easily triggered.
Luckily I noticed before meeting with clients or with my membership program. Then I was able to call myself back to center.
What this really did was validate the importance of that inner connection practice.
People tell me all the time, “I don't have time to meditate” as they imagine deep meditations lasting 20-30 minutes.
Got it. They are nice to take part in, but if I try someone usually walks in half way through.
Busy parents, need quick reset buttons. If you have time to brush your teeth you can reset. (In fact, do it while brushing your teeth. The universe doesn't mind!)
Reset buttons to remember your truest self.
Remember the resources and spiritual flow cascading to support you.
And Connect to the Divine. So life flows better.
It's simply a habit. A new pattern to set. A new practice to establish.
In case you didn't know I'm offering a Free class on one of my favorite Inner Connection Practices on Sunday.
I'll be live at 2pm EST, but if you can't make it then there will a replay sent out to with a PDF and an image for you to put on your phone as a reminder.
If this sounds like something that you could use then please sign up for it here. I'll then send you the information on Friday.
Now, it may be you already have your inner connection set. That yoga serves you, or just that morning coffee pause... maybe you wait until kids are at school... or for that night time sink into your pillow.
Your authentic spiritual connection is what matters here.
What gets you heart centered? What gets you filled up?
I would love to hear your processes and what spiritual connection looks like to you.
I saw an amazing post from a friend of mine which showed a phone battery icon drained and reading;
“You wouldn't let this happen to your phone. Don't let it happen to you either. Self Care is a priority not a luxury.”
So many moms get a wave of guilt when they think of Self Care.
It's become that “item” on the To-Do list that just never gets done.
There can be such a strong emphasis on physical self care... not just caring for our bodies but the physical life we are living... such as get out of the house, go shopping for yourself... have a coffee alone... The Self care that triggers guilt and a feeling of failing is when we see self care as taking care of ourselves, as if we don't have enough to “take care of”.
I think it's time to start looking at true self care...
taking care of the REAL YOU, the inner workings that make up your view and perspective. Making sure that the thoughts we think, the focus of our hearts and minds are resonating with the person we really want to be. (It takes focus, not time.)
The quote in my Danielle Laporte planner this week was “We are Big Spirits with Human Shortcomings..”
And, honestly, in talks about self care, it just feels like we put so much attention and energy into smoothing out those shortcomings, rather than just giving more energy to being the Big Spirits we really are.
When we can practice showing up as our Big Selves... oh the rest just seems to smooth out on it's own.
Oh don't get me wrong. I know the stress and chaos surrounding being a mom very well.
Currently my house is a knex workshop, there's clatter and creation everywhere, and I'm writing this sentence a few times over.
But I think that the discussion of self care needs to be a far more subtler thing than hair cuts, manicures and girlfriend outings.
I just finished a live video on Spiritual bypassing, Shadow work and healing our pasts and I thought I'd just write you and share a few thoughts.
Over the past week or so I've had a lot of conversations about “healing” and working through “what's been”, releasing the shadows and past to be able to move forward.
This has led to how often “spiritual” focused people can fall into “spiritual bypassing” and covering up the pain and trauma to just move forward, rather than processing it and taking it with you.
I often surprise new clients when I tell them we won't be diving into their pasts right away to make room for their future.
Rather, I tell them, we'll practice on the NOW.
When I start with my clients or in any classes and workshops I run, my first go to is creating that beautiful present space, that deep connection between you and YOU, your spiritual centre, your truest self, your divinity.
We can be so focused on our day to day life in front of us, our energy gets scattered to the winds and we need to reclaim them... so you can feel whole. Reclaim them, and find centre.
This comes with the understanding that, energetically, where attention goes, energy flows, and until you have a solid foundation in knowing your inner connection NOW, being true to yourself NOW, seeing through your heart perspective NOW, then when you give your attention to the past...
woosh... you will bring that space, that perspective, that energy right here to the moment.
It's a bit like when you go to a high school reunion and you can't help feeling like the same when you were there... the same insecurities, the same hangups. The past will follow you, and repeat itself if we give it too much power.
BUT, the past has happened, it has shaped you, often hurt you, often empowered you and fueled you so let's give it some attention once you have your feet firmly in the present.
Over in the Breathing Space membership space we're working through the Chakra Class material, and we just covered the Solar Plexus.
This is your inner fire, your Spark of YOU, your unique imprint on life, right at your upper stomach. But what many people don't talk about is how it fuels you by “digesting” and “consuming” your experiences, your perspectives, opinions, preferences, observations and dislikes.
Imagine this like an inner furnace, which burns and is fueled by your life experience, and then, empowers you like a great phoenix rising. We often talk about “following your gut instinct.” Well, here she is.
This is the seat of your inner voice, which uses the energy formed from your heart chakra above and the Sacral Chakra, (your energy center for balance between spirit and physical, inspiration and action, creativity and pro-creation.) This is where your guidance lies.
So, go within and listen... in your here and now.
Give your attention to your inner self, fuel that inner fire, know the universe has your back and you are consuming, digesting and processing what's gone before.
And then, sometimes you will be called to go back and re-digest and process a little bit more.
You might need to acknowledge.
You might need to forgive (others or yourself)
You might need to release
You might need to consume and digest more
You might need to revisit yourself and surround yourself in love
But when you've done that, do yourself a favor and give yourself permission to ask yourself...
What does HEALED look like for you?
You won't see it back in the past, when you give your attention to what hurt you in the first place. That's like pealing a scab off a wound and asking it to heal over and over again.
Tiptoe back, revisit briefly, surround it with love, heal it with light...
I know. Bad things happen. Trauma is real and there are things that have to be worked through.
I've worked through a lot of difficult times, traumatic experiences as well.
But that doesn't mean you have to let it dim your light in your now.
Practice your footing here in this present moment Know where you are... know where YOU are and chart the course of where you are going, using what you know, what you've learnt, what you've consumed in that inner fire... be your own phoenix rising and redefine YOU.
Because that's what this journey of life is ALL ABOUT!
Use your energy to cast your attention forward, play with your dreams and hopes, visualize the best outcome... and when something gets in your way...
Find center and then revisit the past to see if there's anything you can heal and release to get you on your way again.
And if you need any help, reach out. Reach out to where you feel called to, where your gut tells you to.
Also, tune within, the solutions are often there, all along.
Living Inside Out. Allowing. Knowing. Intending. Connecting.
To live inside out means you tune in before reacting.
You shift focus before stress overtakes you.
You breathe deep and find inner resilience, before trying to push to make something right.
To live inside out means you trust your inner world over the outer.
You know that your higher self, Universe, God, Goddess, Spiritual connection has your back and it's really about letting it in, allowing the solutions to flow.
We can all shift back to living Outside In.
We can focus on a problem until we're blue in the face.
We can get out the pros and cons list, intellectually weighing up the Hows of it all... the What Ifs...
the What could go wrongs.
But, there's this innate relief that happens when you simply pull in the oars and... float.
A Space is created, a space for the universe to provide.
When we're banging our heads on a problem there's literally NO ROOM for a solution to flow in.
And yet, knowing that... knowing that we have to let solutions in, knowing that we have to “reprogram” our brain to let go of resistant thoughts and practice mindful Being...
can easily turn into knowing we need to live inside out, but looking in through a window.
The lens of intellectualizing Spiritual practice and mindfulness is a bit like putting our hearts and spirits under a microscope and asking... am I at peace yet?
Living inside out, says live the inner peace, let it flow over you, and you won't have to look to see if you are there.
We're a thoughtful bunch of people in this world. We think out everything.
I remember when my girls were 6 or 7,
They were 10 months apart, completely different temperaments and then they would disagree.
They used to fight. Oof. It would get bad.
The need to fix things fast would flood over me, but in that gush of panic, I would also feel like I was drowning.
What was the right thing to say that would build them both up? What wouldn't damage them? What would stop the fight without someone being “wrong”? What would create peace?
Why couldn't everyone just be filled with sunshine and rainbows All the Time!
Now, 10 years later... I just heard them go to their rooms to do their schoolwork for the day... and calling out “I Love you” to each other.
And I breathe.
During those frantic days, there was always a call from the back of my mind, to stop pushing, to stop worrying and to pull out the spiritual, mindful tools I'd known for years.
Sometimes, I just didn't trust my heart and I'd go down a rabbit hole of trying to “fix” things.
But then other times... I'd practice mindful awareness .and spiritual connection and it would all take a different shift. It would ease.
Just the right words would flow from my mouth... or no words at all.... I'd just sit and listen and hug and help.
I have a bit of a Holiday, Seasonal vision… for all of us.
We practice being ourselves, in a heart connected space, no matter the circumstance.
In simple terms...
We walk a little slower. Drive with a little more observance to the scenery. We let people line up in front of us at the cash, so we can stop and focus on our breath a few moments more.
We play in the toy aisle with our kids.
We let them do the decorating and make a mess.
We stop the pushing.
We take small moments of deep breathes and silent appreciations.
We give ourselves permission to fill our buckets, fill our wells, savor the smallest of joys.
Currently, here in Nova Scotia, the leaves have fallen and the smallest of animals are running to prepare for a long sleep.
There’s a sense of enclosure as well as closure.
There’s a sense of Endings and appreciating of the endings before the new beginnings.
Its the natural flow of all that is.
We can all miss this moment, can’t we?
The Universe is always responding to what we're focused on. So,when life feels frantic and chaotic, sadly things just keep building on that momentum.
The law of attraction can easily pick up on a space of franticness, or on lack of time. We can hold those stories up and the universe sees them, hears them and feels them and responds to it as...
More of this please.
So, when we hold up the sign of Stress. We get more stress. When we hold up the sign of scatteredness... Boom... life fragments even more.
Oof! (as my daughters like to say.)
But, that doesn't mean we're part of a vicious cycle of momentum, which is uncontrollably barreling down the hill of each day.
Rather, we simply need to find that inner pause button, Connect, and ease up on the story.... to allow one of relief to start to build new momentum.
Over at the Spiritually Aware Parenting Community, I've been offering these simple tools to feel connection with You again.
Because when you can connect to the deeper version of YOU, everything else seems to fall into place.
Well, she's been at high school for 3 days and already it's time to have that talk.
How to find the space and mindfulness practice to keep connected to Who You Really Are when you are in chaos.
(If you thought I meant a different talk I can assure you that all took place awhile back... but even in that discussion staying true to yourself and who you want to be has been the theme.)
My daughter loved her first few days at our local high school.
She manifested courses she likes, which are easy and fun.
She has meant some great friends already, she's surprised at her own confidence and ability to talk to groups. She feels like herself.
But then she's coming home, and collapsing into bed. Exhausted.
When 9/11 hit I was in Glastonbury, UK having been pulled to visit there on a spiritual quest.
Spirit had called me and I had answered.
No, really. I had been called.
I had found myself in the UK quite suddenly having said I was going out of the blue.
The plan was barely out of my mouth when the money showed up by chance.
So, for September 2001, I was backpacking, writing a novel and researching a spiritual documentary program for youth I was developing for Channel 5 in the UK, it was called "Spirit in My Suitcase."
I’d traveled down to Cornwall only to be spiritually "told" in the middle of the night, get to Glastonbury on the 7am bus.
When your only focus is connection and spiritually aware living... things like that happen.
I’d gotten in the habit of listening to that calling.
So onto the bus I jumped.
Well, the school’s been phoned, registration is next week and my eldest starts on the 4th.
And while I sit in my room with fingers crossed that she won’t like it, my girl is eagerly excited to start her first day in high school.
She won’t like it… right? Surely!
But still, she will try it.
We’ve homeschooled since day one and the reasons behind that have been varied.
Yes, I’ve wanted them to have individual educational experiences, with the space to follow their passions and interests.
Yes, I love the freedom. We’ve not done half enough traveling as we intended and world schooling is knocking at my heart begging to give it a try… but still the ability to know we can go when we want etc. That’s important to me.
But mostly, I love being together. I love sharing our worlds together.
I’ve loved homeschooling, despite the scattered and sometimes confusing time of it we’ve had over the years.
And although my eldest is off to try high school because she’s always been curious, we still have 2 here at home with us.
So, today I thought I’d share what resources we’ll be using this year. (Because people often ask!)
I want to discuss this big homeschooler question with you... and then I'm going to share some experiences as well as talk a bit about how my daughter's use of Oak Meadow has truly supported this approach of ours.
It's a big blogpost today, as we approach August and a lot of readers are considering or embarking on homeschooling next month.
As a homeschooler, I've been planning and discussing our social studies experiences in various homeschooling reports for years now.
My kids and I have used the umbrella term to cover everything from selling eggs at a stall at the end of our drive as a way to study business, to learning about geography and different countries, cultures and then back to our own.
There was also the year I created the Emotional Awareness and Law of Attraction Sections from the Spiritual Kids Course and used them for Social Studies.
This year though, my kids and I have been truly studying the true meaning of the term.
Yes. That's right.
See a few months ago our girls asked if they could go down to the city to attend a local mini comic con. They worked for ages on their costumes, hand sewing each small detail, and we drove them down to see what would be the result.
Well, they met up with a group of new friends, whom they have been in touch with ever since. From playdates in the park to video calls, they have dove into the deep end of friendships which even resulted in the group going to an alternative prom in June. They are so happy and are loving the new paradigm shift with LOTS OF NEW EXPERIENCES.
I have really been appreciating being here in the country these past few months as it's given our girls the opportunity to practice all of this in slow motion in a lot of ways.
They go into socializing experiences and then are able to retreat, observing how things have flowed and learning from each experience. They've been "caught up" a few times, but then faced it head on and developed the skills to get clarity, shift focuses and shine as themselves each time.
When people discuss homeschooling the point most often brought up is “what about socializing?”
well after the last few months, I'm actually fascinated by this question!
3 things I've learnt with my teens which I'm finding is really vital to keep at the forefront of focus with them when discussing friends and the world.
I was visiting Brene Brown's site today and I found this image that was available as a download for your desktop. I quickly downloaded it and personalized my home screen with it... and I had to share it with you as well.
Because this... this is a powerful statement.
This weekend was the start of JULY! How did that happen?
And while we here in Nova Scotia celebrated Canada Day, and all of my friends and neighbors in the states are looking forward to July 4th... the truth is we all know that summer has officially arrived.
And with that, we start making plans for beach days, holidays, playdays, sunbathing days, parkdates, picnics...
We get our long sheets of paper out and start with the lists... the agendas out to figure out how to fit it all in, around our businesses, our work and our children's routine so they have stability.
We feel the summer start to slip away and it's not even begun.
And that very feeling, is what I want to discuss with you today.
I read the other day a very poignant post that someone had written.
It said "We have approximately 18 summers to enjoy with our children. Make this one count."
But as my children grow older, I happen to know this hits too close to home.
So, today my quest, my Summer mission, is to offer you some tools and opportunities that will help you drop the To-Do list, Stop in your tracks... Rest your mind, Nurture your Spirit and Play... with your children and your own inner self.
Winnie the Pooh, on a hunt for huffalumps and woozles, walks around in a tree following tracks in the snow. The prints keep multiplying as he walks around, unable to catch up with the creature.
They multiply again when Piglet joins him.
Pooh and Piglet get quite worried when they start to see the large amount of tracks that must be made by “ferocious” animals chasing them. Until Christopher Robin sets the story straight.
The tracks were made by Pooh and Piglet themselves.
We can all be pursuing something that’s within us all along.
And we can all be scared of What’s Out there, so forget to recognize it in the first place,
In other words. In every step of the journey, you have arrived.
I was raised with the idea of a ladder. That life was about learning how to “be good” and that we often failed.
I often talk about the law of attraction and, although, manifestation can have different connotations for different people, we all manifest daily, within each moment.
It’s just that we can live life more consciously and aware than we often do.
When we set an intention, we hold a thought, an idea, of something we would like to experience, or a shift in how we feel or live.
This intention has a feeling space, and when we use our imaginations to actually FEEL that feeling, our spirits, our hearts and even our cells within our bodies, don’t know it’s not actually happening.
Have you ever played an imaginary game with your child?
It’s so funny, because I so often resist playing pretend, and I don’t do it half as often as I wish I did… but when I do, when I actually get involved in a game with my kids, oh there’s nothing better. My son and I used to have a game where we had a magic car that would time travel and turn into whatever we needed. We rescued animals and saved the world on numerous occasions. The amazing thing was within that moment, there was always a moment, when we both just let go of our current perspective and lived within that game. We both would see the animals in danger, we both felt the adrenaline of excitement as we pulled them into our car for safety.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.