This was actually a post I wrote 3 years ago.
And yet, I was reminded about it today when I was talking about the resistance parents have sometimes to putting the tools in place to just... feel better.
I do it myself sometimes. I see a program that would bring relief and probably create some amazing manifestations in my life, creating joy, laughter and flow through the process...
but then I put my attention on the grind and daily chores, putting off what feels like relief for the struggle.
But I have to ask... "how can I create relief, from struggle?" that makes no sense!
Yes, as humans we all have patterns that need to be re-paved. So, it's time...
Time to take your hand off of the hot stove.
When I was starting my positive parenting path, it coincided with my discovery of the teachings of Abraham Hicks… and the the concept of taking your hand off the hot stove really transformed my way of thinking.
When I first was introduced to the work of Abe and Esther, my husband and I ordered a CD of theirs (yeah… remember ordering CDs?). We listened to it so often that I can still hear some of it word for word in my head….
“We just want to encourage you to take your hand off the stove. But you say ‘ I can’t. My mother put her hand on the stove, her mother put her on the stove… it’s just what we do. The day I was born they told me to put my hand on the stove.” And we say, try it. And you sigh and say ‘it is sweet relief to take my hand off the stove. But who am I to take my hand off, when even my government and world has their hands on the stove?’ we say, put your hand back on the stove if you want to, but now you know that you have the choice.”
What’s the stove? Pressure. Struggle. Stress. The perception that life has to be hard, that success has to be achieved, that we have to push to get what we want.
That parenting has to be a painful journey with a lot of heartache… and our children will end up rebelling against us. That we have to control them, or cajole them to be the people we want them to be. (blech!) That we can't feel relief, or centre, or spiritual connection without long periods of time for healing and rehashing the past.
We can take our hands off that stove of struggle, of pain.
What I love about this image is the actual relief it sparks within me. I imagine having my hand in pain and then just lifting it off. I don’t need to pry it with all my might. I don’t need to push. I just need to remember that I have what it takes to just lift my hand out of the fire. I have what it takes to breathe deep and be. But I still forget. I still put it right back on there
What Abraham forgets to mention (mainly because they are a spiritual consciousness being channeled through Esther Hicks) is that as physical people, we also have neural pathways that pull us back into our old patterns.
Each morning, as if on cue, we will get out of bed and put our hands back on that stove, unless we put some tools in place to remind ourselves that each day can be different. We can make a different choice.
I often talk about how complaining literally becomes part of us and how gratitude (appreciation) breaks the pathways of negative perspective.
But it does take that choice of lifting our hands off of the high pressure world, in fact, making that choice each day, is really all it takes.
I remember when I was in theatre school, I would sit listening to what the teacher would tell us our project was or what was expected from us. I remember thinking “nah… I can’t even imagine myself doing that.” And then within a few weeks I’d be doing stage-fighting, or climbing 20ft scaffolding, or reciting some long piece of Shakespeare prose.
I soon learned that it was just about jumping in and not pushing against it, and taking the step by step path before me. I’d get there in the end.
Sometimes it just takes focusing on the “headlights”… because just like when you drive at night you can only see a few feet in front of you with the help of your headlights, and yet you always end up at your destination. This is so true in life…
Sometimes, the only step that’s clear is to take your hand off of the hot stove.
It's time. It's really, really time.
We have made things so complicated, but as a spiritual being having a physical experience you can STOP and CLAIM your inner, unique power simply by...
Claiming it. Ease the pressure just a bit, but lifting your hand... up!
When we can just find that relief, even if everything around us is busy.
Focus on headlights, focus on love, light and relief. You’ll get there in the end.
Want to know more about my 6 week intensive coaching program to help shift from frustration to connection with yourself and your kids?
If you have been practicing keeping your hand on that hot stove, or practicing a story of struggle and frustration for too long and you want to release it to make room for joy and relief, I'd love to hear from you and have you apply. Learn more here.
I just finished a live video on Spiritual bypassing, Shadow work and healing our pasts and I thought I'd just write you and share a few thoughts.
Over the past week or so I've had a lot of conversations about “healing” and working through “what's been”, releasing the shadows and past to be able to move forward.
This has led to how often “spiritual” focused people can fall into “spiritual bypassing” and covering up the pain and trauma to just move forward, rather than processing it and taking it with you.
I often surprise new clients when I tell them we won't be diving into their pasts right away to make room for their future.
Rather, I tell them, we'll practice on the NOW.
When I start with my clients or in any classes and workshops I run, my first go to is creating that beautiful present space, that deep connection between you and YOU, your spiritual centre, your truest self, your divinity.
We can be so focused on our day to day life in front of us, our energy gets scattered to the winds and we need to reclaim them... so you can feel whole. Reclaim them, and find centre.
This comes with the understanding that, energetically, where attention goes, energy flows, and until you have a solid foundation in knowing your inner connection NOW, being true to yourself NOW, seeing through your heart perspective NOW, then when you give your attention to the past...
woosh... you will bring that space, that perspective, that energy right here to the moment.
It's a bit like when you go to a high school reunion and you can't help feeling like the same when you were there... the same insecurities, the same hangups. The past will follow you, and repeat itself if we give it too much power.
BUT, the past has happened, it has shaped you, often hurt you, often empowered you and fueled you so let's give it some attention once you have your feet firmly in the present.
Over in the Breathing Space membership space we're working through the Chakra Class material, and we just covered the Solar Plexus.
This is your inner fire, your Spark of YOU, your unique imprint on life, right at your upper stomach. But what many people don't talk about is how it fuels you by “digesting” and “consuming” your experiences, your perspectives, opinions, preferences, observations and dislikes.
Imagine this like an inner furnace, which burns and is fueled by your life experience, and then, empowers you like a great phoenix rising. We often talk about “following your gut instinct.” Well, here she is.
This is the seat of your inner voice, which uses the energy formed from your heart chakra above and the Sacral Chakra, (your energy center for balance between spirit and physical, inspiration and action, creativity and pro-creation.) This is where your guidance lies.
So, go within and listen... in your here and now.
Give your attention to your inner self, fuel that inner fire, know the universe has your back and you are consuming, digesting and processing what's gone before.
And then, sometimes you will be called to go back and re-digest and process a little bit more.
You might need to acknowledge.
You might need to forgive (others or yourself)
You might need to release
You might need to consume and digest more
You might need to revisit yourself and surround yourself in love
But when you've done that, do yourself a favor and give yourself permission to ask yourself...
What does HEALED look like for you?
You won't see it back in the past, when you give your attention to what hurt you in the first place. That's like pealing a scab off a wound and asking it to heal over and over again.
Tiptoe back, revisit briefly, surround it with love, heal it with light...
I know. Bad things happen. Trauma is real and there are things that have to be worked through.
I've worked through a lot of difficult times, traumatic experiences as well.
But that doesn't mean you have to let it dim your light in your now.
Practice your footing here in this present moment Know where you are... know where YOU are and chart the course of where you are going, using what you know, what you've learnt, what you've consumed in that inner fire... be your own phoenix rising and redefine YOU.
Because that's what this journey of life is ALL ABOUT!
Use your energy to cast your attention forward, play with your dreams and hopes, visualize the best outcome... and when something gets in your way...
Find center and then revisit the past to see if there's anything you can heal and release to get you on your way again.
And if you need any help, reach out. Reach out to where you feel called to, where your gut tells you to.
Also, tune within, the solutions are often there, all along.
I played a lot of imaginary games growing up. I had a set one that I always immersed myself in. I had a large family of dolls I did everything with.
My role; The mom, Of course.
I played it well. I did everything for my doll children. I clothed them, fed them, tended to their needs and sometimes they “got into trouble”, which for some reason was the more dramatic of events in any game day.
I fulfilled the role to the last. I slipped in and out of the game as naturally as waking up each morning.
What was once pretend is often referred to as role-playing now according to my daughters.
We all have roles to play, don't we? And we don't even need detailed costumes.
We are the employers, the employees, we're the wife, husband, doctor, lawyer, we're the bestie, the frenemy, the jock, the girlfriend. Perhaps we're even the social awkward, introvert or extrovert.
We're the woo, the witchy, the bitchy. We're conservative, liberal, or activist.
Roles show up everywhere in life.
Same as clubs... the mom club, the anti-vaxer club, the pro-lifer club... the entrepreneur club.
But, today I want to talk with you about how the role of a parent particularly is holding us in a place of management and of control, and actually keeping us from the present awareness we all would like to see nourishing between ourselves and our kids.
I then want to introduce you to the power of Relationship, which encourages us to dive deeper into who we are.
What do you want in your life, your parenting and for your kids? How does it feel?
And what contrast/challenge is stirring that desire within you?
I don't often talk about actual manifestation like this very often.
But since we've arrived in Spain, and without a doubt, truly manifested a beautiful house with a million dollar view of the Mediterranean sea, I want to talk to you about something super specific;
Yes. That's right. Did you know Spain has something called processional caterpillars which have little spikes they shoot out as defense and the spikes can kill a dog or cat and do some pretty serious damage to people as well?
Yeah... we didn't either.
But we manifested them all the same. How? What could we be visualizing or holding on to that would put us in the middle of a highly populated area of deadly insects?
When 9/11 hit I was in Glastonbury, UK having been pulled to visit there on a spiritual quest.
Spirit had called me and I had answered.
No, really. I had been called.
I had found myself in the UK quite suddenly having said I was going out of the blue.
The plan was barely out of my mouth when the money showed up by chance.
So, for September 2001, I was backpacking, writing a novel and researching a spiritual documentary program for youth I was developing for Channel 5 in the UK, it was called "Spirit in My Suitcase."
I’d traveled down to Cornwall only to be spiritually "told" in the middle of the night, get to Glastonbury on the 7am bus.
When your only focus is connection and spiritually aware living... things like that happen.
I’d gotten in the habit of listening to that calling.
So onto the bus I jumped.
Winnie the Pooh, on a hunt for huffalumps and woozles, walks around in a tree following tracks in the snow. The prints keep multiplying as he walks around, unable to catch up with the creature.
They multiply again when Piglet joins him.
Pooh and Piglet get quite worried when they start to see the large amount of tracks that must be made by “ferocious” animals chasing them. Until Christopher Robin sets the story straight.
The tracks were made by Pooh and Piglet themselves.
We can all be pursuing something that’s within us all along.
And we can all be scared of What’s Out there, so forget to recognize it in the first place,
In other words. In every step of the journey, you have arrived.
I was raised with the idea of a ladder. That life was about learning how to “be good” and that we often failed.
I often talk about the law of attraction and, although, manifestation can have different connotations for different people, we all manifest daily, within each moment.
It’s just that we can live life more consciously and aware than we often do.
When we set an intention, we hold a thought, an idea, of something we would like to experience, or a shift in how we feel or live.
This intention has a feeling space, and when we use our imaginations to actually FEEL that feeling, our spirits, our hearts and even our cells within our bodies, don’t know it’s not actually happening.
Have you ever played an imaginary game with your child?
It’s so funny, because I so often resist playing pretend, and I don’t do it half as often as I wish I did… but when I do, when I actually get involved in a game with my kids, oh there’s nothing better. My son and I used to have a game where we had a magic car that would time travel and turn into whatever we needed. We rescued animals and saved the world on numerous occasions. The amazing thing was within that moment, there was always a moment, when we both just let go of our current perspective and lived within that game. We both would see the animals in danger, we both felt the adrenaline of excitement as we pulled them into our car for safety.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.