Winter is fast approaching and with it I can feel myself craving some "cave-time".
A friend of mine mentioned the term to me a couple of weeks ago and since then I've been stewing with it, stiring it around in a pot of thoughts.
Cave-time. Hibernation. Rest. Be-ingness.
Same too when I discovered the Danish word Hygge which describes the glorious feeling of comfort and coziness. The sitting in a fleece blanket with a fire on and a cup of tea with a good book kind of day.
Did you know I have Danish blood? My maiden name is Jensen and when I heard this concept (that supposedly many, many people are talking about and I just didn't know), suddenly it was like a whisper from my ancestors....
But let's face it, there's life to live.
Kids to feed and school, business to run, amazing clients to support and a holiday season to plan.
But to me, in this busy season, finding the inner frequency of Hygge or cave-time is the ultimate Self Care.
Self care isn't the big action steps or To-Dos.
Self care is the acknowledgement that you are your SELF, your inner being, magical Self...
and your heart and your mind need caring for.
Drop into a 5 minute moment of Cave-time and you have more self care than a 2 hour trip to Target in Holiday Season. (In fact, if you are headed to any shop in holiday season I recommend at least 10 minutes of inner cave time before hand to prepare yourself!)
So, what does that care time look like?
Spiritual Awareness flows as an inner warmth and flame that comforts your from within.
Taking the Cave-time as actual inner work means you can be standing in line somewhere and refocus to your inner cave, your inner cozy blanket and allow the universe to take over the clutter outside for a bit.
A quick heads up about a couple of things:
I'm working through a few surprise offers to create more ease and flow for you this season and for the new Year. Although Black Friday-Cyber Monday sales can seem so chaotic, I like to offer my own personal flow of magic and energy through them, as I see it as a celebration of my work from the past year just before I head off on holiday.
So over that weekend I will be creating some offers ranging from:
- A discount on my 3 session introductory package,
- A year long membership to The Breathing Space
- And... as a special fun flow... the chance at an oracle card spread that will be done personally for you, drawing a card for the full year ahead.
I'll be sharing details closer to the time, but I wanted you to know so that you can plan or suggest to loved ones. :)
Also that weekend is the end date for the Early Bird Special of my annual workshop
Creating an Intentional New Year, which takes place on Dec 28th and is currently on for $27 instead of $35. Book soon as its limited space and Breathing Space members are already given access.
Within my focus to help you clear what's been holding you back so you can feel light, ease and in flow before the end of this decade... there's something I need to talk with you about.
It's big... are you ready?
Well actually, I don't necessarily call it the F-word, because I find that, like so many words, forgiveness can have different feelings and intentions for everyone.
The word Forgiveness can sometimes trigger a sense of blame or a sense of self loathing, it can sometimes spark defense within one person or the sanctimonious "I forgive you!" which can carry a new weight within.
And yet... within the deep sense of forgiveness is the pure, unwavering, blissful sense of
I always encourage my clients to focus on RELEASING... releasing themselves, releasing others, releasing situations, releasing energetic response, releasing the stories of what is.... the inward releasing which creates Presence and WHOLENESS from the inside out.
I truly believe the focus of Forgiveness is actually based in loving releasing.
Imagine that with every negative experience you have with someone, energetic cords link you together. Each time you are with the person or in a similar situation, these cords get reactivated and practiced, sparking away.
When you practice forgiveness... or releasing, you shift the energy, release the cords and allow new life to flow through your experience.
This has magical results, transforming relationships, creating light conversation where before there was only tension, or even simply letting the energy fade away, so that you don't seem to even "bump" into each other anymore.
A traditional process to "forgive" that is mentioned on social media is the Ho'oponopono prayer.
The idea being that you hold someone or something in your mind within these phrases:
I'm Sorry. Please Forgive Me. I Thank you. I love you.
I have heard incredible stories of transformation with these simple words, so I want to encourage you to simply try them on. See how they feel and if they resonate.
However, I will also make space for the fact that when I first tried them on, they didn't resonate. I felt like the please forgive me phrase kept me in a feeling bad space and actually made the focus on releasing only myself. Each exchange we have with other people is a co-creation... so I like to offer these phrases instead.
I'm Sorry. I Release you. I Thank you. I love you.
I appreciate the transformations the traditional version has brought to many, but between translation and past triggers I find that this can hold back that deeper shift that is so magical for some people.
Here's the intention behind the statements;
Holding someone or a situation in your mind surround it in...
I'm Sorry. (By saying Sorry you are noting that everything is a co-creation. You were there in the room so your energy was part of the combined energy. Like chemistry, two compounds create a reaction.)
I Release You. (Imagine the cords unhooking from your field and being released back to the person. See them fade. This doesn't necessarily mean they will be out of your life forever, rather it is simply claiming your energy as your own... and returning their energy to them.)
I Thank You. (Each engagement, even a negative one, creates growth and new insight. We learn so much through contrast, we learn what we want through what we don't want. We GROW. So giving thanks for the experience acknowledges the growth.)
I Love You. (Imagine surrounding the situation or person in love and light, allowing them to be whole and released from you, see the love flowing around them... and the love flowing around yourself. )
Have you ever practiced a Forgiveness/Releasing Process? How have you found it? Did it create shifts for you?
I have been working through this process with clients and members for the last couple of years, but I really started hearing about the impact it was having when I included it into my course Step Into Your Light.
I included this within the Releasing Your Shadows section, which is the second part of the course and designed to let go of what's not serving you and open up the doors to feeling present and aware as the person you want to be.
I've included Step into Your Light as my contribution into the Positive Parenting Premium Ecourse Bundle Sale that takes place next week.
Between the 22nd and the 24th you'll get access to my course + 18 other courses all created with the intention to give you tools to be the parent you want to be and support your children in their journey positively.
Here's a link to a preview of all the courses you'll get access to... along with Step into Your Light.
I love being part of this experience with fellow bloggers and parenting experts.
You basically are getting 17 courses for the price of 1 so you can pick and chose.
(actually, the $97 fee for signing up for the bundle is less than the regular price of my course enrollment alone!)
I always love the deep sigh of sweet relief that follows truly releasing someone or something that you have energetic ties to. Forgiveness is actually the ultimate act of Self Care.
This is a true and deep reset, which creates new space for life to flow effortlessly into the direction of your desires.
Last year, just before New Years 2019, I offered a workshop on setting Intention for the New Year.
I was passionate about helping parents dive deep into their desires, tune into how they want to feel, and set that as a goal and anchor for their year.
And I still am.
Some of the desired feelings and intentions participants set were:
Focused. Joy. Presence Healed
Whole, Self Confidence
Throughout the experience I then encouraged participants to imagine how that feeling felt, and what that looked like in December.
From the position of January, that felt so light, easy and fun.... it was hopeful and intentional.
And here we are headed into September.
While some parents are dancing with their intended feelings, others have come to me saying they lost the plot. That they lost sight of where they wanted to go and got stuck in running the hamster wheel of where they are.
No harm done, I always say.
You can always line up.
You've just been getting a clearer idea of what you want, based on what you don't want.
You can always line up with intention. It's waiting for you.
There's just enough time to put some things in practice, release some resistance and open up to the person you want to be... before the holiday season.
With the last full moon and it's partial eclipse over I have had a lot of moms come to me and say...
“Christina, I released what's no longer serving me. I let it go. Why does it keep showing up?”
I hear you. One of the energies I released was stress regarding a tooth that keeps playing me up and I found myself calling a new dentist. (releasing comes in various forms, I was hoping it would just go away.)
When I sat to write this post I held the topic of Releasing and Healing to my heartspace and got back:
“Releasing takes releasing, not revisiting to see if you've let it go yet.”
And, like my tooth, sometimes the releasing takes the discomfort of having something showing up again and again so you can release it once and for all.
So often we look at what doesn't serve us... beliefs, situations, habits... and tell ourselves that they truly must go.
But what we forget is that in order to release them we have to create a new story where they don't exist at all.
Spirit releases them the moment we decide they must be released. Our spiritual greater part moves quickly to the relief and newness of living without it.
But then... our humanness gets in the way sometimes:
We think about what we released, we remind ourselves on how it was, we talk about it, we consider it, we revisit and revisit... we can even be “glad it's gone.”
But where attention goes, energy flows.
So by putting the spotlight on what was released, you draw it back to you.
Have you ever noticed that when you tell yourself you aren't going to do something, the opportunity to do it again shows up really quickly. (Like when you tell yourself you'll stop yelling or losing your temper, just before your children start to argue.) That's just how it works.
So, how do you truly release things? How do you create that shift?
I saw an amazing post from a friend of mine which showed a phone battery icon drained and reading;
“You wouldn't let this happen to your phone. Don't let it happen to you either. Self Care is a priority not a luxury.”
So many moms get a wave of guilt when they think of Self Care.
It's become that “item” on the To-Do list that just never gets done.
There can be such a strong emphasis on physical self care... not just caring for our bodies but the physical life we are living... such as get out of the house, go shopping for yourself... have a coffee alone... The Self care that triggers guilt and a feeling of failing is when we see self care as taking care of ourselves, as if we don't have enough to “take care of”.
I think it's time to start looking at true self care...
taking care of the REAL YOU, the inner workings that make up your view and perspective. Making sure that the thoughts we think, the focus of our hearts and minds are resonating with the person we really want to be. (It takes focus, not time.)
The quote in my Danielle Laporte planner this week was “We are Big Spirits with Human Shortcomings..”
And, honestly, in talks about self care, it just feels like we put so much attention and energy into smoothing out those shortcomings, rather than just giving more energy to being the Big Spirits we really are.
When we can practice showing up as our Big Selves... oh the rest just seems to smooth out on it's own.
Oh don't get me wrong. I know the stress and chaos surrounding being a mom very well.
Currently my house is a knex workshop, there's clatter and creation everywhere, and I'm writing this sentence a few times over.
But I think that the discussion of self care needs to be a far more subtler thing than hair cuts, manicures and girlfriend outings.
I just finished a live video on Spiritual bypassing, Shadow work and healing our pasts and I thought I'd just write you and share a few thoughts.
Over the past week or so I've had a lot of conversations about “healing” and working through “what's been”, releasing the shadows and past to be able to move forward.
This has led to how often “spiritual” focused people can fall into “spiritual bypassing” and covering up the pain and trauma to just move forward, rather than processing it and taking it with you.
I often surprise new clients when I tell them we won't be diving into their pasts right away to make room for their future.
Rather, I tell them, we'll practice on the NOW.
When I start with my clients or in any classes and workshops I run, my first go to is creating that beautiful present space, that deep connection between you and YOU, your spiritual centre, your truest self, your divinity.
We can be so focused on our day to day life in front of us, our energy gets scattered to the winds and we need to reclaim them... so you can feel whole. Reclaim them, and find centre.
This comes with the understanding that, energetically, where attention goes, energy flows, and until you have a solid foundation in knowing your inner connection NOW, being true to yourself NOW, seeing through your heart perspective NOW, then when you give your attention to the past...
woosh... you will bring that space, that perspective, that energy right here to the moment.
It's a bit like when you go to a high school reunion and you can't help feeling like the same when you were there... the same insecurities, the same hangups. The past will follow you, and repeat itself if we give it too much power.
BUT, the past has happened, it has shaped you, often hurt you, often empowered you and fueled you so let's give it some attention once you have your feet firmly in the present.
Over in the Breathing Space membership space we're working through the Chakra Class material, and we just covered the Solar Plexus.
This is your inner fire, your Spark of YOU, your unique imprint on life, right at your upper stomach. But what many people don't talk about is how it fuels you by “digesting” and “consuming” your experiences, your perspectives, opinions, preferences, observations and dislikes.
Imagine this like an inner furnace, which burns and is fueled by your life experience, and then, empowers you like a great phoenix rising. We often talk about “following your gut instinct.” Well, here she is.
This is the seat of your inner voice, which uses the energy formed from your heart chakra above and the Sacral Chakra, (your energy center for balance between spirit and physical, inspiration and action, creativity and pro-creation.) This is where your guidance lies.
So, go within and listen... in your here and now.
Give your attention to your inner self, fuel that inner fire, know the universe has your back and you are consuming, digesting and processing what's gone before.
And then, sometimes you will be called to go back and re-digest and process a little bit more.
You might need to acknowledge.
You might need to forgive (others or yourself)
You might need to release
You might need to consume and digest more
You might need to revisit yourself and surround yourself in love
But when you've done that, do yourself a favor and give yourself permission to ask yourself...
What does HEALED look like for you?
You won't see it back in the past, when you give your attention to what hurt you in the first place. That's like pealing a scab off a wound and asking it to heal over and over again.
Tiptoe back, revisit briefly, surround it with love, heal it with light...
I know. Bad things happen. Trauma is real and there are things that have to be worked through.
I've worked through a lot of difficult times, traumatic experiences as well.
But that doesn't mean you have to let it dim your light in your now.
Practice your footing here in this present moment Know where you are... know where YOU are and chart the course of where you are going, using what you know, what you've learnt, what you've consumed in that inner fire... be your own phoenix rising and redefine YOU.
Because that's what this journey of life is ALL ABOUT!
Use your energy to cast your attention forward, play with your dreams and hopes, visualize the best outcome... and when something gets in your way...
Find center and then revisit the past to see if there's anything you can heal and release to get you on your way again.
And if you need any help, reach out. Reach out to where you feel called to, where your gut tells you to.
Also, tune within, the solutions are often there, all along.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.