If a busy parent develops their sense of self love, spiritual connection and a deep awareness of their whole selves, they can freely create a conscious, fulfilling, life of flow and relief with their kids.
When a parent is stressed out and spread too thin, they are simply trying to get water from an empty well.
Whereas, when you connect to your spiritual resources and inner self, energy flows to you, fuels you, replenishes you and keeps you present and calm.
Children respond to a present, grounded parent...
whereas they can't when their mom and dad feel scattered and all over the place.
It's a strong belief within me, I can tell you that.
But have I ever told you why this is such a powerful belief?
Why do I feel this is the conscious parenting secret sauce?
Because I've been on both ends of the scale.
I often will talk about having 2 little girls under one. I'll talk about feeling scattered homeschooling as well as running a business.
But I don't think I've ever discussed what led me to truly trusting in the power of going within.
In 2010 we took our first worldschooling trip to the UK, but in so many ways it was one of escape.
- We'd been working on fixing up our house, a money pit, and my husband was facing burnout.
- Our dog had been killed by a neighbor.
- Our goat had died in giving birth... along with 2 of her kids.
- My family was gripped in heartbreak with some extended family issues.
- CPS had been called by neighbors concerned about our daughters not being in school. (before homeschooling became a thing in our province.)
I was spread so thin I would find myself shaking. I was running around after everyone's needs, and each time the phone rang I would feel myself tense up and start to panic.
Last year, just before New Years 2019, I offered a workshop on setting Intention for the New Year.
I was passionate about helping parents dive deep into their desires, tune into how they want to feel, and set that as a goal and anchor for their year.
And I still am.
Some of the desired feelings and intentions participants set were:
Focused. Joy. Presence Healed
Whole, Self Confidence
Throughout the experience I then encouraged participants to imagine how that feeling felt, and what that looked like in December.
From the position of January, that felt so light, easy and fun.... it was hopeful and intentional.
And here we are headed into September.
While some parents are dancing with their intended feelings, others have come to me saying they lost the plot. That they lost sight of where they wanted to go and got stuck in running the hamster wheel of where they are.
No harm done, I always say.
You can always line up.
You've just been getting a clearer idea of what you want, based on what you don't want.
You can always line up with intention. It's waiting for you.
There's just enough time to put some things in practice, release some resistance and open up to the person you want to be... before the holiday season.
With the last full moon and it's partial eclipse over I have had a lot of moms come to me and say...
“Christina, I released what's no longer serving me. I let it go. Why does it keep showing up?”
I hear you. One of the energies I released was stress regarding a tooth that keeps playing me up and I found myself calling a new dentist. (releasing comes in various forms, I was hoping it would just go away.)
When I sat to write this post I held the topic of Releasing and Healing to my heartspace and got back:
“Releasing takes releasing, not revisiting to see if you've let it go yet.”
And, like my tooth, sometimes the releasing takes the discomfort of having something showing up again and again so you can release it once and for all.
So often we look at what doesn't serve us... beliefs, situations, habits... and tell ourselves that they truly must go.
But what we forget is that in order to release them we have to create a new story where they don't exist at all.
Spirit releases them the moment we decide they must be released. Our spiritual greater part moves quickly to the relief and newness of living without it.
But then... our humanness gets in the way sometimes:
We think about what we released, we remind ourselves on how it was, we talk about it, we consider it, we revisit and revisit... we can even be “glad it's gone.”
But where attention goes, energy flows.
So by putting the spotlight on what was released, you draw it back to you.
Have you ever noticed that when you tell yourself you aren't going to do something, the opportunity to do it again shows up really quickly. (Like when you tell yourself you'll stop yelling or losing your temper, just before your children start to argue.) That's just how it works.
So, how do you truly release things? How do you create that shift?
So here's the thing. Last week I broke my own rule.
I didn't meditate. (and before you start to think I'm talking about 20 minute downtimes... let me say this is a 2 minute thing for this busy mom.)
I had 3 mornings in a row that I had something to do, and quite honestly after the first 2 times of jumping up and running out the door, I literally had already forgotten my own practice.
I'm not a morning person.
I take my mornings very consciously. Mornings start with eyes open and “How do I want to Feel Today...”
or maybe even more so...
“Good morning God.” (Yeah... I call Source/Spirit/Universe God within my own heart. It became my spirit vocabulary when I was really young... but I use all terms readily.)
After that... Cuddles with my husband.... love expressions. Get up. Take the dog for a walk.
Then I have breakfast with my darlings. Possibly check my phone for emails.
Day plan discussions.
Then, I go upstairs and before work I stop, drop, breathe and do my inner connection practice.
2-5 minutes later, I'm ready to go.
So, actually, it's not really meditation. It's more that sense of drop and remember.
Remember who I am. Remember the Spiritual flow that is flowing. Remember my breath.
So, what happened when I ran without dropping...
Oh it wasn't pretty.
I felt the stress building, but it was that run away train building that leads to heart pumping tension and headaches.
I even noticed I wasn't remembering anything the way I usually do. (Honestly, I climbed into bed and had to wonder if I'd said goodnight to our eldest. I hadn't and she was waiting for me to turn out her light. An honor to be had by a near 17 year old.)
My thoughts were scattered. My focus all over the place. It felt rushed and...
outside of me.
Yeah. Life was being lived outside of me. I felt more reactionary. More easily triggered.
Luckily I noticed before meeting with clients or with my membership program. Then I was able to call myself back to center.
What this really did was validate the importance of that inner connection practice.
People tell me all the time, “I don't have time to meditate” as they imagine deep meditations lasting 20-30 minutes.
Got it. They are nice to take part in, but if I try someone usually walks in half way through.
Busy parents, need quick reset buttons. If you have time to brush your teeth you can reset. (In fact, do it while brushing your teeth. The universe doesn't mind!)
Reset buttons to remember your truest self.
Remember the resources and spiritual flow cascading to support you.
And Connect to the Divine. So life flows better.
It's simply a habit. A new pattern to set. A new practice to establish.
In case you didn't know I'm offering a Free class on one of my favorite Inner Connection Practices on Sunday.
I'll be live at 2pm EST, but if you can't make it then there will a replay sent out to with a PDF and an image for you to put on your phone as a reminder.
If this sounds like something that you could use then please sign up for it here. I'll then send you the information on Friday.
Now, it may be you already have your inner connection set. That yoga serves you, or just that morning coffee pause... maybe you wait until kids are at school... or for that night time sink into your pillow.
Your authentic spiritual connection is what matters here.
What gets you heart centered? What gets you filled up?
I would love to hear your processes and what spiritual connection looks like to you.
Living Inside Out. Allowing. Knowing. Intending. Connecting.
To live inside out means you tune in before reacting.
You shift focus before stress overtakes you.
You breathe deep and find inner resilience, before trying to push to make something right.
To live inside out means you trust your inner world over the outer.
You know that your higher self, Universe, God, Goddess, Spiritual connection has your back and it's really about letting it in, allowing the solutions to flow.
We can all shift back to living Outside In.
We can focus on a problem until we're blue in the face.
We can get out the pros and cons list, intellectually weighing up the Hows of it all... the What Ifs...
the What could go wrongs.
But, there's this innate relief that happens when you simply pull in the oars and... float.
A Space is created, a space for the universe to provide.
When we're banging our heads on a problem there's literally NO ROOM for a solution to flow in.
And yet, knowing that... knowing that we have to let solutions in, knowing that we have to “reprogram” our brain to let go of resistant thoughts and practice mindful Being...
can easily turn into knowing we need to live inside out, but looking in through a window.
The lens of intellectualizing Spiritual practice and mindfulness is a bit like putting our hearts and spirits under a microscope and asking... am I at peace yet?
Living inside out, says live the inner peace, let it flow over you, and you won't have to look to see if you are there.
We're a thoughtful bunch of people in this world. We think out everything.
I popped into the facebook group, after having a rather restless night with my son.
Here’s what I posted:
“My son couldn't get to sleep tonight... he was tossing and turning,
What with the storm outside and a huge clap of thunder there was a lot of electric energy in the air and he's so sensitive... After a couple of hours of him trying and also trying to help him relax... I pulled out the energy work.
After some sweeps of his energy and grounding his feet, as well as surrounding him in light... he was asleep within 10 minutes.
I could tell it was what he needed the way his body gave a jolt as it relaxed...
I used to get really stressed when my kids couldn't sleep. I would feel the tension rise up within me which would of course make them stressed as well. It was awful.
But now, I see sleep as a spiritual aspect of life and I love having the opportunity to practice little spiritual tools with my kids to help them connect as they drift off for their nightly journeys.”
Why does this work? (I'll share how further in the post)
Throughout the day our children are thinking, moving, and living fully in their physical experience. When you do an energy clearing, you are clearing any blocks of resistance all that physical observing may have created.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.