I'm being asked about homeschooling and how education looks like for the Fletcher crew a lot lately, so I thought I’d talk a bit about schooling..
And the fact that nothing needs to be forever.
It’s no secret that I’ve homeschooled our kids for the last 12 years. (Eek! How did that happen.)
It’s also no secret that each child has had a different curriculum and homeschooling “approach.”
And, then there’s also the fact that my eldest has been enrolled in school twice, once over in Wales when she was 9 and then in Canada for 3 months of high school.
We’ve worldschooled, unschooled, homeschooled, deschooled…. Schooled…We’ve online schooled, alternatively schooled… you name it.
We’ve flowed with what was needed at the time.
We’ve listened to the Next Right Step on every twist and turn and within that we’ve learnt to be flexible, be honest with ourselves and listen to our kids.
Because the fact that nothing is forever is really a huge lesson in parenting.
If you are sitting on the fence about homeschooling what’s to stop you from just trying it?
Or, if you feel called to try out the school of the new now, then follow your heart and try it, isn't it possible to change your mind?
My daughter needed to know what school was like, and she went twice in 12 years.
She loved it, she did. She did well. Our focus was emotional awareness and she never felt behind. But then it started to feel off, so she was back at home. (Well the last time she boarded a plane for Spain. Same thing!)
But nothing has to be forever.
You can listen to your heart, trust your intuition and give yourself permission to also change your mind based on the evolution of you and your kids. (Hey, sometimes your kids even come straight out and ask.)
On the other side, Be honest about what you can and cannot do.
Working at home with homeschooled kids took some rumbling with my own beliefs of what life needed to look like and honestly, sometimes it's just not possible for people financially or for other reasons. There's no shame in it. There's alternative solutions that can be found and balance that can be created.
I want to encourage you to co-parent with Spirit.
Spirit comes up with solutions you won’t be able to imagine possible when you release the worry and ask for guidance.
A few personal stories of this come up for me through my homeschooling journey with my kids.
First, the time my daughter was desperate to have that one friend, that special connection. (School or no school how many of us remember wanting the Diana to our Anne? That bosom friend.)
After helping her raise her emotional state so she could let it in, (LOA always has been a focus for our family) and taking the day to help her find inner balance, the universe and I had a little chat.
I asked for help, when the time was right, for a new experience for her as she was ready for a stretch.
I then, knowing it was being taken care of, let it go.
The very next day I had a phone call out of nowhere. Our area was starting a home- ed group and someone had passed on my name.
What followed was amazing friendships, classes and connections for my family over a period of 3 years.
Or, there was the time that our younger daughter was feeling insecure, comparing her learning technique to her core-curriculum driven older sister.
I asked the universe for a solution.
Within a couple of days I felt called to connect with Oak Meadow to see if I could review their curriculum and they wrote back saying yes within a few hours.
My daughter started on their Grade 7 curriculum and proceeded to thrive through their grade 8 and high school English program for the following 3 years. (You can read the posts regarding our experiences here)
You are being cared for and your child’s needs are being heard.
When my daughter first went to school it was sparked by a campaigning politician knocking on our door. She was a lovely woman and was talking about the school in our new area.
Our daughter over heard the conversation and expressed her curiosity. She was enrolled with a few days.
There can be so much stress around what we think we need to get our children and how to set them up for LIFE.
I’m here to say (with my eldest heading off to college in September and my other 2 continually picking up new lessons, tools, passions and interests… oh and friends.) that this is a life time experience, that flows over time.
There’s no one fit for all solution, or one solution for life.
We explore, shift, re-decide, discuss, evaluate, continually always looking for what’s in best alignment to who we really are.
Breathe deep. Go heart center. Put the request out for guidance. Listen to your child’s spirit and to your own.
Then try what feels best and give yourself permission to change your mind.
In these chaotic times I'm encouraging my clients and members to put their child's emotional, mental and spiritual well-being above grades. When a child knows themselves and know when they feel stressed or upset so they can seek balance, every education situation will flow better.
That's one of the reasons you should checkout my course SPIRITUAL KIDS, so you have a plethora of tools, crafts, worksheets, and activities to help a child know themselves, understand LOA, and know their heart center.
This program is made up of exercises I used for my own children and their schooling over the years. So feel free to check it out here.
Are your kids "acting their age?" (I guess in this moment I'm asking myself if I act MY age. What does that even mean?)
Over the last month or so, while everyone has been spending 24/7 with their kids in lockdown, I've sensed an anxiety about whether your children are "on level" or "doing well." There's been a lot of "How will they turn out?"
So, I wanted to get something out there. Every person is doing the best they can.
Even when there's no pandemic stress and overwhelm, children will explore behaviors and have ups and downs in experience. (they are people!)
Over 18 years of parenting, with 3 kids, I can tell you it wasn't always sunshine and roses.
My daughters, who are 10 months apart, used to stamp on each other’s feet and then tell me it was an accident.
Then there was the time that we spent hours searching for my daughter’s doll, only to find out that her sister had hid it under a slide because she was jealous.
My son used to have a temper that would boil up inside of him until it explodes all over the house, with a slam of his door, a few choice words and a melt down which I can’t get near.
I don’t share these stories often, not because I’m ashamed of them, but because I didn’t want to hold my kids to their past behaviors, I don’t want the stories of their off moments to define them.
So, let me balance with this.
These past few months my eldest laughs a laugh I haven’t heard for years.
She just got into art college for September, has started meditating and exploring her own magic, just because she feels called to it. (I’ve always made sure my kids found their own path to spirituality. They’ve only heard me discuss mine and the minute they need anything to explore their own, they just have to ask. No pressure.)
My second daughter asks her oracle cards what to do each day and is doing her own exercise routine each morning. She is so full of light, and we drive our family mad with our goofiness together.
My son, yesterday he came down asking about how to communicate something to his cousin. I’m hearing him talk about his feelings, and notice that before his temper rises he’s discussing his insecurities and how things feel instead.
I’ve learnt over the years of parenting and self development work that there’s no such thing as a Good Kid, or a Bad Kid… or a Good Person or a Bad Person.
People don’t “turn out”, they evolve, and as they evolve and grow they make choices based on what they know.
When I first started parenting my girls oh boy, I tried the whole getting mad thing.
I shouted, I flipped out, I ranted. I lectured.
But, I watched as my girls shut down and didn’t hear me. (and proceeded to still stamp on each other’s feet while shouting “Whoops, don’t get mad mom, it was an accident.)
Power plays were aplenty and our relationship started to fall through the cracks.
So, I started to learn myself, that maybe life wasn’t a ladder to climb, maybe it wasn’t about being a “better person" or being "good", maybe it was about allowing each person to get to know themselves and, as they made mistakes and felt bad, discuss emotional awareness and explore kindness as something that feels better.
Life is an exploration.
Just as little toddlers who want to explore all their senses and feel frustrated when we say no to tasting dirt because how are you going to know what dirt tastes like if you don’t try! (Not saying you let your kid eat dirt, but when you see it as exploration you divert them differently.)
Your children are exploring life, through lockdown, through fears, through your own stress, they are exploring what they like and what they don’t like, what they think and what they feel.
Over the past few weeks I’ve had a number of parents sigh in relief when I tell them “yeah, your child is acting the way most kids their age act.”
Your child is feeling the immense energy system that is flowing through them RIGHT NOW. They feel the Full Moon and the rising and falling of the planet’s frequency even stronger than we do.
They feel the stress and can’t intellectualize it.
They feel the fear and know that it is so far away from our natural essence of LOVE.
They know. And sometimes it all feels so big, so very, very big, that it sweeps over them and creates an explosion.
My son used to call this his blender brain, when even me trying to calm him down would add to the mix that was building pressure.
Please go slow with your darlings at this time.
They are exploring, and as they do they are feeling everything so strongly.
Breathe deep with them, don’t judge them. Ground their feet, talk in soft voices, read, laugh, play. See the world through their eyes. Because they have solutions we might all need.
And they have hearts that need holding as well as hands.
We’re all people in this, and our little people are working through a heck of a lot. (but then, aren't we all?)
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.