My daughter was talking to me this about a costume she was planning on making.
“The Universe is weird…” she started.
“I asked your pendulum about which costume I should make, and it picked this one. Then, when I was shopping for the pieces it felt stressful, so it seemed upstream and against the flow, so I stopped and waited for a solution. Someone just gifted me the tights I needed for it, so it’s led me to all these other choices which are so much easier.”
She then added that all week she’s felt like she was being told to just relax and let things flow in, even though the initial costume would take hours of work.
By following her intuition and listening to flow she can relax because the costume is almost done without effort.
It makes me so happy to hear my children discuss flow and listening to the universe.
I love how they know things don’t need to be hard, but can flow effortlessly when you listen to inner guidance and that still small voice within.
It wasn’t always that way.
Often they have pushed against that flow and fought for what they thought they wanted… only to discover it didn’t really work out as they wanted. (But then haven't we all!)
When my girls were young and embarking on their first real Halloween, I realised something that really bothered me.
They were being taught that ghosts were scary.
As someone who has often seen and felt ghosts (psst… aka Angels.) I felt strange having Hollywood and pop culture try to convince my children that they should be really afraid of things that are usually unseen.
I was consistently scared growing up. Consistently.
I was positive someone was in my closet waiting for me to turn my back so they could stab me.
I watched way too many murder mysteries, but I also had a sense of something unseen, which my brain registered as scary.
I just didn’t know it was energy, or spirits… (or maybe myself visiting myself from the future which is something I love guiding my clients through. Another story for another time.)
So, early on I decided that I would help my children navigate with energy and learn to not see ghosts or spirits as Scary.
We are all spirits. We are all angels in physical bodies. Come to think of it, we are all ghosts.
Boo. (Couldn’t resist.)
However, saying that I will say that I have experienced ghosts in a number of ways.
This past September, for our 20th anniversary, my husband and I went to stay at the George and Pilgrim Hotel in Glastonbury UK.
Not only is it just across the street from the room we met in, and also around the corner from our first kiss, it is also one of the most haunted hotels in the UK.
It has 23 resident ghosts;
including a 16th century woman who smokes a pipe in the pub every morning (people smell the smoke at 6am),
a butler who will knock your drink over if he doesn’t like you, and a 15th century knight that sets off the CCTV every night at 2am.
I was looking through quotes today (I love quotes) and I landed upon this piece by the Dalai Lama;
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace within ourselves.”
And my heart sighed. It’s so true.
In a time of chaos (which are definitely swirling right now) the best step you can take is some house cleaning of your inner world.
The topic of “Inner work” came up over in the Facebook group today and it led to some interesting discussion.
Inner work is more than meditation... (although meditation is often part of “inner work”).
At the same time, Inner work doesn’t have to be painful “work”.
Long spirals of mentally working through your past, untangling your guilty memories, feeling angry at those who have hurt you have their place, but, most of the time it takes you back to the energy of what has been and with that, brings that frequency back into your life.
Clients often hear me say that this is like going back to a High School Reunion, you find yourself acting like the same person you were, rather than carrying the new found growth and experience with you.
Focusing on the things that made you feel that way you are feeling can lead to the sentiment of another favourite quote of mine, this time from the film “As Good As it Gets.” When Jack Nicholson shouts
“I’m drowning here and your describing the water.”
Describing the water, focusing on the water doesn’t stop the drowning.
Rather you have to get out of the water first.
And often that takes some help.
(Which is good. It’s good to have help. There’s no extra pride in getting out of the water on your own.)
Inner work for me is a little more about shifting and lightening loads.
It's muscle toning and stretching, remembering that you are more than these physical bodies. It is all about simple steps, small movements and little reminders to tune into who you really are, rather than who you were told to be from the world.
Inner work takes you from the reactive space, the trigger warning, jump- into- action mode of wondering what’s next, to feeling balanced and steady, ready to deal with what needs to be dealt with as your whole self.
This takes work, no matter how good it feels.
It takes work because it entails shifting neural pathways, literally changing your mind!
You and the rest of us humans have certain beliefs and patterns in place from childhood and it takes facing them and feeling into them to create the life you consciously want, and be the person you want to be.
The gift of Inner work though, is that it feels so good to do it.
With each process, each step, each breath, you feel lighter and more connected to the flow that is you.
So, today, I wanted to encourage you to take a deep breath, dive in heart center and ask, what Inner work you are called to do?
Oh and also, if you are curious about processes to practice some Inner Work with me, check out my next study group of my program STEP INTO YOUR LIGHT .
2020…. Ahhh yes, 2020.
The year when even whispers of cancelled holidays and celebrations are becoming common to my ear.
Here in the UK they are jumping through hoops to keep “Christmas happening” while my family in Canada has resigned to a few decorations and all very low key.
I’ve talked to a lot of people who are experiencing this next blow of an overwhelming year.
So, I wanted to come in and create some perspective shift and holiday love.
Even when plans don’t go as they usually do, even if you find yourself alone or struggling, no matter what you believe, no matter where you live, there is always something magical and light about this time of year; if you let it in.
I’m pretty big on any excuse for a party.
My family and I have had many holiday seasons alone and even more times on barely any budget. When my daughters were young Christmas time meant staying up late, with blue fingers sewing doll clothes out of the clothes they’d grown out of.
My husband and I soon made the holiday motto we live by; Music, movies and food… all resonating with holiday cheer.
It doesn’t matter what’s happening outside. Rather everything can be felt within your four walls.
One Christmas, before I met my husband, I was an au pair here in the UK.
I spent the Christmas holidays backpacking alone and found myself in a B&B in Glastonbury at Christmas. I was faced with the question of what to do on a day usually spent with my large family. Armed with a box of After eights, a couple of gifts I’d bought myself, some books and a frozen Christmas dinner (which my hostess replaced with a plate from their family affair downstairs.) I had a morning walk, relished in the scenery, made a fortune worth of phone calls and settled down to be engulfed by holiday spirit. I let it find me rather than myself pushing for it. It was unconventional. I felt sick after polishing off all the chocolates in one sitting, but I look back at that year with fondness.
This time of year resonates as pure magic for me.
Living in the country in Canada for my children’s early years we focused on the magic of life under the earth. Surrounded by snow the world appears dead, paused in a state of inertia. And yet, the faith that it will bloom again, that leaves will return, that sun will shine, that life flows and continues on a cycle, that there is light in the darkness, oh it gives me chills to allow the true meaning of this season to fall over me.
I’ll be bold to say that this doesn’t have to be a time of religious belief, but it also doesn’t have to be a time of commercialism or even family traditions.
Rather, I want to encourage you to look for the state of pause within yourself.
This has been a sticky year. The energy that has filled the world has been often fearful and heavy… like fallen snow.
But within you, within everyone, is the light of hope and life force that transforms everything.
This isn’t a time to mourn loss dinners with loved ones, rather a time to love them fiercely, even when apart.
This isn’t a time to miss shopping with massive bags of gifts, more it’s time to pause and appreciate the life that surrounds you.
Mostly, it isn’t a time to push for what to do next or how things can work out or what spring will look like… rather it’s a time of faith and trust in the magic that is continually flowing.
For just like leaves on trees, or bulbs in the ground, spring will spring again. Life force will flow. Spirit is present and this too shall pass.
Give yourself permission to drop the pressure and the push. Take up the concept of the seasonal pause and let the life force of the universe flow through it all around you.
I send you all my love and light for this coming season.
May it be filled with moments of awe and surprise.
May it delight you as only the universe knows how to.
May your home ring with joy and light and may it remind you that, even in the darkest night, there is always light with the coming dawn.
Life force is always flowing.
At a time when you may find yourself surrounded by your loved ones more than you are used to and with life being a little more heightened in energy as 2020 is bringing forth a tsunami of emotions, you may be finding that your feeling triggered by those you care about more than you used to.
Therefore, let's talk about something that affects all of us: RELATIONSHIPS.
(And, yes, parenting is a relationship too.)
If you are feeling frustrated by other people and you find your thoughts swirling around idle chatter about things they do that drive you up a wall,
I wanted to give you a quick exercise to start feeling in flow with others again.
It’s a simple thing really. It all starts with the inner knowing that what you put your attention on GROWS.
This exercise works with everyone; from a newborn to grandparents, to the grouchy neighbour who starts mowing their grass when you just set down for a nap.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.