Years ago it wasn’t about approaches or paradigms. It wasn’t about labels.
There were simply expectations and common practices to “handle” kids.
Children were expected to do what they were told, listen when they were spoken to, behave themselves and stay out of trouble. There were imposed consequences when they stepped out of line (some harsher than others) because a parent was “in charge” with unquestionable authority.
Yes, there were a few parents who strayed from the beaten track. They followed their heart and unconventionally parented from an integral, inner knowing.
No one knew what to think of these free thinkers. Their intuitive style raised eyebrows, but it wasn’t an “approach.” Rather it was an individual choice which often had outsiders judging these parents for their lack of “control.”
But life moves forward. We evolve. We expand.
And as the children of free-thinking parents grew up and became successful, innovative and inspired, the world’s perception of children, childhood and the common parenting perspective began to shift.
Soon studies on the mental health of children and the damage inflicted by shaming, punishment, and control were starting to pop up through the cracks, like plants through the concrete.
There had to be another way.
So, the positive parenting movement was born, and with that came sections, approaches, and followings, which continued to evolve and expand with each generation.
New parents are often thrown into the chaos of parenting “styles” and can be surprised by the number of scant looks, judging glares and “Oh… you do THAT approach” comments.
So in this article let’s break down a few of the approaches which will pop up in google searches, articles and posts for the parent who is diving into the rabbit hole of the parenting world.
Please bear in mind these are general definitions and aren’t set in stone.
What one parent calls attachment parenting another will call gentle.
We are in the time of formation of these perspectives.
The first approach that often comes up is Attachment Parenting
This loving concept recognizes that after birth a baby still needs to feel the closeness of their parent. Wraps, slings, baby carriers, co-sleepers are encouraged to keep a child wrapped and intertwined in their parents’ arms and love. Attachment parenting has shown to have incredible benefits on a young child’s development as they have the security of having their needs met consistently.
They grow within a surrounding of love and validation.
Now, as these children grow into 3 or 4 and they start to form new opinions and their desire to explore the world around them is stronger than their need for security, attachment parenting often leaves a mom and dad feeling unprepared.
This then gives birth to…
Gentle Parenting/ Progressive Parenting/Child-led parenting
The understanding that a child needs love and gentle treatment flows effortlessly into supporting a child’s curiosity and experience. Connection is key, through eye contact and validation for a child’s feelings.
Their needs are the driving force, which helps a child feel empowered and listened to. Natural consequences are used, rather than punishment or discipline. (Natural consequences help children understand that everything has a consequence, like a ripple in a pond, so if you lie no one believes you, if you hit, someone gets hurt and might hit you back.)
One of the challenges with these approaches is that a parent can often feel drained out. That while their child’s needs are being met, their own are being sacrificed. That the balance of a family has been forsaken for a child, and if there is more than one child in a family this can fill with conflict quickly.
This lack of self care can then lead to disconnection. Often catchphrases are suggested, such as “I hear what you are saying,” or “I know that you are feeling sad,” which validate a child’s emotional journey and suggests a present parent, but if a parent is feeling drained and overwhelmed the words can feel empty and distracted.
The concerns of this turning into “Permissive Parenting” can often spark some heated discussion.
A child following their own instincts and curiosity is a beautiful thing, but it can also lead to dangerous situations and a parent has to be ready to prevent injury as well as explain, discuss and distract so that a child can grow with the tools of awareness and safety.
Which is focused on Not Punishing a child, but the parent still being in charge.
The parent is seen as the leader, the voice of reason and experience that needs to be respected and listened to. When it isn’t, positive parenting varies from Time-Ins (which are the positive, contemplative, often accompanied version of Time-outs) to reward charts, to chore lists.
The challenge here is that often it can still tilt in the balance between the parent feeling like they have a role to maintain and the child is the child that needs to obey. Good behaviour is rewarded, and Bad Behaviour is deemed as bad. There can be a tendency to still not dive deep into motivation, but to get results.
Which brings us to…
Conscious parenting understands that both parents and children are human beings.
As parents we have baggage, we bring with us our own childhood and how we were raised. We bring to our kids the beliefs we’ve been taught and the beliefs we wish to practice. We have good days, we have bad days. We are humans. Our children are human too. They have good days and bad days. They pick up on energy in a room and they know when someone is upset with them. They react to things, sometimes badly and as parents we can help them learn and navigate response.
The conscious parent movement embraces the opportunity for relationship and life tool building for kids. The idea of the Role of the parent is traded in for the relationship between people, so that a child can learn through experience how to treat others fairly, be kind, and know themselves. Conscious parents allow natural consequences except when it affects their child’s health or well-being, when they step in by holding loving limits to establish the child’s own healthy boundaries. Before any action, conscious parents pause to see if they reacting from fear, or making a choice from presence.
Challenges for this approach are usually only found in the parent being unwilling to do the self work so that they don’t project their own pain onto their child, and the need for balance. Don’t look within yourself as a parent and you’ll miss out on the true nature of the conscious parenting experience. Don’t find the balance by looking within your child and helping them develop the tools to do the same, and it can turn into a parent’s focus being more within themselves than balanced between themselves and their family.
We’ve been raised to see the parent as the one in charge and the child as needing to obey and listen.
Most of these parenting approaches ask us to step away from that belief and rather, see a child as someone who is learning, sometimes stumbling, but actively growing and learning how to live on planet earth.
Of course, as people we know that this is actually a lifetime lesson, but as parents we weren’t supposed to be vulnerable to our own lack of knowing.
There’s also the fear of other people’s reactions, the raised eyebrow and playground whispers.
We can see our child’s tantrum as overstimulation, but it doesn’t stop that preconception that our children are “making a scene”, which brings embarrassed pink to our checks.
Conscious parenting and some of these other approaches acknowledge the embarrassment, track down the source of it, and then hold space for our child, helping them find balance and offering them tools in their own self-knowledge.
When you look back at those “free thinking” parents who followed their hearts and charted their own paths for themselves and their children, they paved the way well. They stood their ground and didn’t look back. They didn’t have definition but they also didn’t have community or coaches and experts to help and support them.
No matter what “approach” you resonate with, be open to the fact that within you is your own path. You may be uncategorizable. You may be your own Free Thinker. Trust your heart. Trust your child.
Focus on the loving relationship of it all.
My family and I have had a hard month.
On May 22nd our darling cat, my spirit animal, Einstein passed in my arms. Then two weeks later, our other darling, Sweetie, my eldest’s 4.5 year old cat, passed away as well.
We have come to believe they were poisoned by something.
Many people have reached our, suggesting that this made the grief worse, as it meant they “went before their time”.
But I disagree. Grief is Grief. There’s no going before your time.
They still chose to go on a deeper, spiritual level. They ate whatever they ate, visited wherever they visited. I trust them and their inner journey entirely.
My family was heart broken all over again. We jumped in the car and took a roadtrip, heading intuitively to Glastonbury, my spiritual home. I’ve written this post so often in my mind over these past few weeks. There’s so much I’d love to share; about the processes we’ve taken, the releasing and healing rituals we took part in, the way we, as a family and individually, have processed our grief.
My eldest especially has taken her Sweetie’s passing incredibly hard, but at the same time has honoured her by changing her focuses and experiences.
She’s dumped most of her stuff, redecorated her room, changed her style and is back to reading. She’s focusing on creating differently and is focusing on how to live a better life.
I would need to write a book to write out all the ways this has transformed my family and how we want to honour the passing of our darlings so they didn't leave in vain.
Here's some takeaways I've gathered:
I grew up feeling pretty isolated.
I was homeschooled for a good part of my life (at a time when NO ONE was homeschooled) and often felt like I couldn’t connect with others. Once I started down a path of spiritual study I then really felt like I couldn’t fully express myself with my peers.
In fact, more often than not it was either mis-understood or shut down when I tried to discuss it with friends or members of my community.
I think this is where social media and the internet has been such a powerful gift for me, as I now get to connect with like-minded people from around the world, who also had felt isolated within their local communities.
When my family and I worldschooled in Spain in 2018 I was invited to my first “Women’s Circle”.
It was a group of about 15 women and I was surprised at how comfortable I felt. Even if we shared different beliefs and opinions around somethings, the group still seemed to surround me in love. It was a beautiful 2 hour space in time filled with warmth and connection.
I felt free to be myself, there was no pressure to conform, rather just hold space for each other which I’d only experienced in 1;1 spaces.
Like-minded communities can actually be as fluid as being focused only on support, love, compassion and holding space.
That’s why I was so touched when a member of the The Breathing Space referred to the program as an online Women’s Circle.
“I just wish you could see inside my heart and soul to see how blessed I feel to have found you and the sacred space you've created. I feel like the group is my sacred space, a circle of women I wish I had in my 'real life' .
What I appreciate most about The Breathing Space is that the space feels so safe and that even though we may have different beliefs, we all seem to be coming from the same space, from love, respecting, supporting and encouraging each other.”
If there’s anything we can all attest to it’s that 2020-21 have been an isolating time.
It’s not just been about lockdowns and social distancing, but even on social media and the feeling free to state what you truly feel and think.
I am so proud of the Breathing Space members and honoured to be able to hold space with them through that.
I’m also thrilled that they find it as exhilarating place as I do.
Each Thursday whatever members can come into our hour Office Time, join me for a lively talk about anything.
Cup of coffee or tea in hand, we’ve covered supporting individual members through crisis’s all the way to discussing philosophy, all while children wander in and out of the camera frame. I’ll admit it, we even had a quick chat about the best food for cats through to juice fasting, but I also always make sure that, by the end of the hour we’ve found our way back to spiritual alignment and grounding.
March is Manifestation Month for members.
Our focus in the Facebook Group (We went back to Facebook as Mighty Networks just didn’t flow the same) will be a 21 day Manifestation Challenge based on the book “How to Unleash Your Inner Money Babe”. The goal… manifesting $1000.
(Your brain loves numbers and manifesting some extra money is a great way of stretching the manifesting muscle. The book provides such a fun and light way of seeing manifestation show up in your daily life… and I really don’t align to the idea that money and spirituality can’t flow together. Money is simply an energy exchange, right?)
The Challenge isn’t challenging.
Daily posts with exercises that take 2-10 minutes each I would say and you don’t have to do them all. It’s fun and creates new flow in your life.
And then of course Breathing Space members get FREE access to the Manifesting Joyful Parenting Workshop at the end of the month.
(Actually, I need to confess a glitch in my system. If you sign up for The Breathing Space with this week’s code “breathe” you will only pay $30 a month. The workshop itself is $35, so you get access to all the benefits of being a member + the workshop for less than the workshop price. You don’t even have a contract so can quite the membership right after… if you want to. Not fully thought out by me, but I’m happy to point it out to you!)
I want to invite you to join me in The Breathing Space;
An online women’s circle where you can feel held and supported to speak your truth, feel the love and take part in some fun, vibrant experiences, as well as healing sessions and resources, in a chaotic world.
The code “breathe” expires on Friday March 12th and then the price goes up to $47 a month.
I hope you consider joining us before then, in time to dive into some manifesting fun.
Love and Light - Christina
I was looking through quotes today (I love quotes) and I landed upon this piece by the Dalai Lama;
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace within ourselves.”
And my heart sighed. It’s so true.
In a time of chaos (which are definitely swirling right now) the best step you can take is some house cleaning of your inner world.
The topic of “Inner work” came up over in the Facebook group today and it led to some interesting discussion.
Inner work is more than meditation... (although meditation is often part of “inner work”).
At the same time, Inner work doesn’t have to be painful “work”.
Long spirals of mentally working through your past, untangling your guilty memories, feeling angry at those who have hurt you have their place, but, most of the time it takes you back to the energy of what has been and with that, brings that frequency back into your life.
Clients often hear me say that this is like going back to a High School Reunion, you find yourself acting like the same person you were, rather than carrying the new found growth and experience with you.
Focusing on the things that made you feel that way you are feeling can lead to the sentiment of another favourite quote of mine, this time from the film “As Good As it Gets.” When Jack Nicholson shouts
“I’m drowning here and your describing the water.”
Describing the water, focusing on the water doesn’t stop the drowning.
Rather you have to get out of the water first.
And often that takes some help.
(Which is good. It’s good to have help. There’s no extra pride in getting out of the water on your own.)
Inner work for me is a little more about shifting and lightening loads.
It's muscle toning and stretching, remembering that you are more than these physical bodies. It is all about simple steps, small movements and little reminders to tune into who you really are, rather than who you were told to be from the world.
Inner work takes you from the reactive space, the trigger warning, jump- into- action mode of wondering what’s next, to feeling balanced and steady, ready to deal with what needs to be dealt with as your whole self.
This takes work, no matter how good it feels.
It takes work because it entails shifting neural pathways, literally changing your mind!
You and the rest of us humans have certain beliefs and patterns in place from childhood and it takes facing them and feeling into them to create the life you consciously want, and be the person you want to be.
The gift of Inner work though, is that it feels so good to do it.
With each process, each step, each breath, you feel lighter and more connected to the flow that is you.
So, today, I wanted to encourage you to take a deep breath, dive in heart center and ask, what Inner work you are called to do?
Oh and also, if you are curious about processes to practice some Inner Work with me, check out my next study group of my program STEP INTO YOUR LIGHT starting on Friday January 22nd.
Use the code "newyear" for 30% off on enrolment and get the added bonus of having FREE access to the magical powerhouse of The Breathing Space membership private group (with benefits) in our new space over at Mighty Networks. We'll be working through the material together right there as we're moving from Facebook gradually and this study group is an exciting way to ignite the space with magic!
2020…. Ahhh yes, 2020.
The year when even whispers of cancelled holidays and celebrations are becoming common to my ear.
Here in the UK they are jumping through hoops to keep “Christmas happening” while my family in Canada has resigned to a few decorations and all very low key.
I’ve talked to a lot of people who are experiencing this next blow of an overwhelming year.
So, I wanted to come in and create some perspective shift and holiday love.
Even when plans don’t go as they usually do, even if you find yourself alone or struggling, no matter what you believe, no matter where you live, there is always something magical and light about this time of year; if you let it in.
I’m pretty big on any excuse for a party.
My family and I have had many holiday seasons alone and even more times on barely any budget. When my daughters were young Christmas time meant staying up late, with blue fingers sewing doll clothes out of the clothes they’d grown out of.
My husband and I soon made the holiday motto we live by; Music, movies and food… all resonating with holiday cheer.
It doesn’t matter what’s happening outside. Rather everything can be felt within your four walls.
One Christmas, before I met my husband, I was an au pair here in the UK.
I spent the Christmas holidays backpacking alone and found myself in a B&B in Glastonbury at Christmas. I was faced with the question of what to do on a day usually spent with my large family. Armed with a box of After eights, a couple of gifts I’d bought myself, some books and a frozen Christmas dinner (which my hostess replaced with a plate from their family affair downstairs.) I had a morning walk, relished in the scenery, made a fortune worth of phone calls and settled down to be engulfed by holiday spirit. I let it find me rather than myself pushing for it. It was unconventional. I felt sick after polishing off all the chocolates in one sitting, but I look back at that year with fondness.
This time of year resonates as pure magic for me.
Living in the country in Canada for my children’s early years we focused on the magic of life under the earth. Surrounded by snow the world appears dead, paused in a state of inertia. And yet, the faith that it will bloom again, that leaves will return, that sun will shine, that life flows and continues on a cycle, that there is light in the darkness, oh it gives me chills to allow the true meaning of this season to fall over me.
I’ll be bold to say that this doesn’t have to be a time of religious belief, but it also doesn’t have to be a time of commercialism or even family traditions.
Rather, I want to encourage you to look for the state of pause within yourself.
This has been a sticky year. The energy that has filled the world has been often fearful and heavy… like fallen snow.
But within you, within everyone, is the light of hope and life force that transforms everything.
This isn’t a time to mourn loss dinners with loved ones, rather a time to love them fiercely, even when apart.
This isn’t a time to miss shopping with massive bags of gifts, more it’s time to pause and appreciate the life that surrounds you.
Mostly, it isn’t a time to push for what to do next or how things can work out or what spring will look like… rather it’s a time of faith and trust in the magic that is continually flowing.
For just like leaves on trees, or bulbs in the ground, spring will spring again. Life force will flow. Spirit is present and this too shall pass.
Give yourself permission to drop the pressure and the push. Take up the concept of the seasonal pause and let the life force of the universe flow through it all around you.
I send you all my love and light for this coming season.
May it be filled with moments of awe and surprise.
May it delight you as only the universe knows how to.
May your home ring with joy and light and may it remind you that, even in the darkest night, there is always light with the coming dawn.
Life force is always flowing.
(If you are craving some deeper connection this holiday season and into the new year, don't forget to visit my holiday gift page AND check out my upcoming workshop, Creating An Intentional New Year, on Dec. 29th.)
One of the greatest takeaways from last week’s The Grounded Family Event was that balance is an inside job.
That through your focus and inner story you can tune in and realize your truest path, you can align yourself to the best version of YOU.
And that’s who Shows Up.
Showing up Whole, with balance of mind, body, heart and spirit is my focus for the rest of the year.
(It's also the name of my upcoming podcast, so stay tuned for more about that.)
This has been a tumultuous year and because of that, it’s taking all of our energy and attention to create individual focus and intention...
So, you can truly connect and hold space with the people in your life.
This time, 19 years ago, it was another crisis in our personal history.
The world shook on September 11th 2001 and nothing would ever be the same again.
I was on a soul journey at that time.
3 weeks prior I had decided to invest all my money into listening to my spirit, jumping on a plane and going to the UK.
When the planes flew into the Twin Towers I was in a backpackers in Glastonbury England. Surrounded by travelers from all across the globe, we gathered together around the community room, situated in what’s known as the “heart chakra” of the United Kingdom.
Tears flowed, fears built. Tickets home booked, only to be rescheduled. The world stopped and human to human, spirit to spirit, we connected with everyone we saw. It was profound. Connecting with fellow humans on this level was unlike anything I'd even known.
As a Canadian, most people compassionately asked me where in America I was from, while I cared for other Americans who were staying in the same hostel as me.
The next day, with the news on repeat and the same travelers watching in hopes of some new development, I remember stopping in my tracks…
To make a choice.
Part of me wanted to sit with my new companions, to keep the connection of compassion, but it felt like they were reliving this pain. It felt life draining and unintentional.
But then, from deep within me I knew I had to get out. I felt I had to walk the magical streets, connect with the wise guided of the sacred town around me. (You need to google the town of Glastonbury to fully appreciate this magic. This isn’t about a music festival, this is the Isle of Avalon, resting place of King Arthur, a sacred site of the ancient druids and even where Jesus walked before his 3 years. Glastonbury energy flows deep.)
I listened to my heart. I followed that inner calling. I went to a yoga class in a castle and then to a lecture.
Where the man who would turn out to be my husband sat down beside me.
The world stopped when our eyes locked. We were engaged within 3 weeks. (This was a total law in attraction manifestation, that had been building for years, but that's another story.)
Why am I telling you this story?
Because, I believe when there’s traumatic circumstances there’s also powerful energy engaged and in order to ride the massive wave and not feel completely drowned in the sorrow or fear of it all, you have to make the decision to listen to your heart.
The world is loud. Louder than ever before.
But within you is the power to turn off the noise, even just for a few minutes.
Breathe deep, set a timer and give yourself permission to take 5 minutes to feel relief, to focus on something that gives you joy, to dream, to uplift, to connect to your soul and your inner guidance.
Because when you do, you bring all of yourself into the situation. You can FULLY SHOW UP, to all the people in your life and feel like yourself in all situations.
Life becomes clearer, the path unfolds and your individual experience rises up before you.
There’s no time to waste.
This is a time of focus, clarity and decision making, just like when I stood there, bag in hand, wondering if I should just throw myself down on the sofa beside my fellow travelers and watch the news, which felt like I was giving myself up but instead forced myself to walk out the door and do something for my spirit instead.
Whenever I feel wishy-washy or ungrounded I remind myself of that moment.
I then look at my husband and my nearly adult kids… even our pets, my work and my community and I wonder:
Where would I be if I hadn’t listened and claimed myself in that moment? What other life would have unfolded?
Breathe deep and listen to your heart. Journal it out and trust the breath within you.
You are a unique spark of life, with a divine path unfolding, for you and your kids.
The universe has your back and will guide the way.
Unlike 19 years ago when internet was still dial up and it was easy to feel disconnected, you don't have to do this alone.
I'm dedicating September to Showing Up Whole, and helping you align to your heart and centre. Come over to the Facebook Community where all month we're celebrating over 2000 members and you'll find lots of tools for inner connection so you can show up as your best self for your family and your kids. If Facebook isn't your thing, that's fine too. Why not book a connection chat to learn more about how I can support you?
At a time when you may find yourself surrounded by your loved ones more than you are used to and with life being a little more heightened in energy as 2020 is bringing forth a tsunami of emotions, you may be finding that your feeling triggered by those you care about more than you used to.
Therefore, let's talk about something that affects all of us: RELATIONSHIPS.
(And, yes, parenting is a relationship too.)
If you are feeling frustrated by other people and you find your thoughts swirling around idle chatter about things they do that drive you up a wall,
I wanted to give you a quick exercise to start feeling in flow with others again.
It’s a simple thing really. It all starts with the inner knowing that what you put your attention on GROWS.
This exercise works with everyone; from a newborn to grandparents, to the grouchy neighbour who starts mowing their grass when you just set down for a nap.
I'm being asked about homeschooling and how education looks like for the Fletcher crew a lot lately, so I thought I’d talk a bit about schooling..
And the fact that nothing needs to be forever.
It’s no secret that I’ve homeschooled our kids for the last 12 years. (Eek! How did that happen.)
It’s also no secret that each child has had a different curriculum and homeschooling “approach.”
And, then there’s also the fact that my eldest has been enrolled in school twice, once over in Wales when she was 9 and then in Canada for 3 months of high school.
We’ve worldschooled, unschooled, homeschooled, deschooled…. Schooled…We’ve online schooled, alternatively schooled… you name it.
We’ve flowed with what was needed at the time.
We’ve listened to the Next Right Step on every twist and turn and within that we’ve learnt to be flexible, be honest with ourselves and listen to our kids.
Because the fact that nothing is forever is really a huge lesson in parenting.
If you are sitting on the fence about homeschooling what’s to stop you from just trying it?
Or, if you feel called to try out the school of the new now, then follow your heart and try it, isn't it possible to change your mind?
My daughter needed to know what school was like, and she went twice in 12 years.
She loved it, she did. She did well. Our focus was emotional awareness and she never felt behind. But then it started to feel off, so she was back at home. (Well the last time she boarded a plane for Spain. Same thing!)
But nothing has to be forever.
You can listen to your heart, trust your intuition and give yourself permission to also change your mind based on the evolution of you and your kids. (Hey, sometimes your kids even come straight out and ask.)
On the other side, Be honest about what you can and cannot do.
Working at home with homeschooled kids took some rumbling with my own beliefs of what life needed to look like and honestly, sometimes it's just not possible for people financially or for other reasons. There's no shame in it. There's alternative solutions that can be found and balance that can be created.
I want to encourage you to co-parent with Spirit.
Spirit comes up with solutions you won’t be able to imagine possible when you release the worry and ask for guidance.
A few personal stories of this come up for me through my homeschooling journey with my kids.
First, the time my daughter was desperate to have that one friend, that special connection. (School or no school how many of us remember wanting the Diana to our Anne? That bosom friend.)
After helping her raise her emotional state so she could let it in, (LOA always has been a focus for our family) and taking the day to help her find inner balance, the universe and I had a little chat.
I asked for help, when the time was right, for a new experience for her as she was ready for a stretch.
I then, knowing it was being taken care of, let it go.
The very next day I had a phone call out of nowhere. Our area was starting a home- ed group and someone had passed on my name.
What followed was amazing friendships, classes and connections for my family over a period of 3 years.
Or, there was the time that our younger daughter was feeling insecure, comparing her learning technique to her core-curriculum driven older sister.
I asked the universe for a solution.
Within a couple of days I felt called to connect with Oak Meadow to see if I could review their curriculum and they wrote back saying yes within a few hours.
My daughter started on their Grade 7 curriculum and proceeded to thrive through their grade 8 and high school English program for the following 3 years. (You can read the posts regarding our experiences here)
You are being cared for and your child’s needs are being heard.
When my daughter first went to school it was sparked by a campaigning politician knocking on our door. She was a lovely woman and was talking about the school in our new area.
Our daughter over heard the conversation and expressed her curiosity. She was enrolled with a few days.
There can be so much stress around what we think we need to get our children and how to set them up for LIFE.
I’m here to say (with my eldest heading off to college in September and my other 2 continually picking up new lessons, tools, passions and interests… oh and friends.) that this is a life time experience, that flows over time.
There’s no one fit for all solution, or one solution for life.
We explore, shift, re-decide, discuss, evaluate, continually always looking for what’s in best alignment to who we really are.
Breathe deep. Go heart center. Put the request out for guidance. Listen to your child’s spirit and to your own.
Then try what feels best and give yourself permission to change your mind.
In these chaotic times I'm encouraging my clients and members to put their child's emotional, mental and spiritual well-being above grades. When a child knows themselves and know when they feel stressed or upset so they can seek balance, every education situation will flow better.
That's one of the reasons why my course SPIRITUAL KIDS is still on for only $50 (reg. $127), so you have a plethora of tools, crafts, worksheets, and activities to help a child know themselves, understand LOA, and know their heart center.
This program is made up of exercises I used for my own children and their schooling over the years. So feel free to check it out here.
So, Mercury Retrograde is here again. Do you find yourself craving some “cave” time or quiet time?
I know my family is definitely seeking out hibernation.
(and we're already having tech issues.)
It’s funny how suddenly, everyone talks about things like Retrogrades and cosmic events, isn’t it? I know that 10 years ago or so, no one really thought about Mercury or other planets in the everyday. Ok, maybe some people did, but I know I didn’t.
And yet, here it is, that time again. Mercury is in retrograde and everyone is talking about wanting to freeze in one spot until it is over.
If you find that life is frantic and you simply want to hide, there’s a chance that Mercury, with its power, is simply calling you to take some time for going within, to breathe deep and realign, rather than just unleashing ultimate chaos on your life.
Here’s what I mean;
I like to see cosmic events, (mercury retrogrades, full moons, eclipses) like the weather.
It’s all about adapting.
Are your kids "acting their age?" (I guess in this moment I'm asking myself if I act MY age. What does that even mean?)
Over the last month or so, while everyone has been spending 24/7 with their kids in lockdown, I've sensed an anxiety about whether your children are "on level" or "doing well." There's been a lot of "How will they turn out?"
So, I wanted to get something out there. Every person is doing the best they can.
Even when there's no pandemic stress and overwhelm, children will explore behaviors and have ups and downs in experience. (they are people!)
Over 18 years of parenting, with 3 kids, I can tell you it wasn't always sunshine and roses.
My daughters, who are 10 months apart, used to stamp on each other’s feet and then tell me it was an accident.
Then there was the time that we spent hours searching for my daughter’s doll, only to find out that her sister had hid it under a slide because she was jealous.
My son used to have a temper that would boil up inside of him until it explodes all over the house, with a slam of his door, a few choice words and a melt down which I can’t get near.
I don’t share these stories often, not because I’m ashamed of them, but because I didn’t want to hold my kids to their past behaviors, I don’t want the stories of their off moments to define them.
So, let me balance with this.
These past few months my eldest laughs a laugh I haven’t heard for years.
She just got into art college for September, has started meditating and exploring her own magic, just because she feels called to it. (I’ve always made sure my kids found their own path to spirituality. They’ve only heard me discuss mine and the minute they need anything to explore their own, they just have to ask. No pressure.)
My second daughter asks her oracle cards what to do each day and is doing her own exercise routine each morning. She is so full of light, and we drive our family mad with our goofiness together.
My son, yesterday he came down asking about how to communicate something to his cousin. I’m hearing him talk about his feelings, and notice that before his temper rises he’s discussing his insecurities and how things feel instead.
I’ve learnt over the years of parenting and self development work that there’s no such thing as a Good Kid, or a Bad Kid… or a Good Person or a Bad Person.
People don’t “turn out”, they evolve, and as they evolve and grow they make choices based on what they know.
When I first started parenting my girls oh boy, I tried the whole getting mad thing.
I shouted, I flipped out, I ranted. I lectured.
But, I watched as my girls shut down and didn’t hear me. (and proceeded to still stamp on each other’s feet while shouting “Whoops, don’t get mad mom, it was an accident.)
Power plays were aplenty and our relationship started to fall through the cracks.
So, I started to learn myself, that maybe life wasn’t a ladder to climb, maybe it wasn’t about being a “better person" or being "good", maybe it was about allowing each person to get to know themselves and, as they made mistakes and felt bad, discuss emotional awareness and explore kindness as something that feels better.
Life is an exploration.
Just as little toddlers who want to explore all their senses and feel frustrated when we say no to tasting dirt because how are you going to know what dirt tastes like if you don’t try! (Not saying you let your kid eat dirt, but when you see it as exploration you divert them differently.)
Your children are exploring life, through lockdown, through fears, through your own stress, they are exploring what they like and what they don’t like, what they think and what they feel.
Over the past few weeks I’ve had a number of parents sigh in relief when I tell them “yeah, your child is acting the way most kids their age act.”
Your child is feeling the immense energy system that is flowing through them RIGHT NOW. They feel the Full Moon and the rising and falling of the planet’s frequency even stronger than we do.
They feel the stress and can’t intellectualize it.
They feel the fear and know that it is so far away from our natural essence of LOVE.
They know. And sometimes it all feels so big, so very, very big, that it sweeps over them and creates an explosion.
My son used to call this his blender brain, when even me trying to calm him down would add to the mix that was building pressure.
Please go slow with your darlings at this time.
They are exploring, and as they do they are feeling everything so strongly.
Breathe deep with them, don’t judge them. Ground their feet, talk in soft voices, read, laugh, play. See the world through their eyes. Because they have solutions we might all need.
And they have hearts that need holding as well as hands.
We’re all people in this, and our little people are working through a heck of a lot. (but then, aren't we all?)
When my husband took a music class years ago, he was given a simple project.
Write a song; using just 4 notes.
Ok. Not that simple.
But the reason behind the project was simple.
Restrictions are a powerful focuser.
When we have all the options in the universe we can easily get scattered.
As a society we’ve tended to get used to a lot of options. Actually, when you consider manifestation and conscious reality creation… you have unlimited potential and possibility.
Which, when you think about it, can feel pretty scattering.
Welcome to the most restricted time most of us have felt in this lifetime.
At this moment in our lives we, more than ever before, are being asked to focus.
And at the same time, focusing can be a bit of a challenge at the moment.
Ah, the lovely balance of being a human.
With most of your routines and habits being thrown to the wind, it’s no wonder you might be feeling scattered in focus and intention. If neural pathways like balance and to practice the same thing over and over, everything about this situation screams imbalance!
(Even if you are a homeschooler and used to spending lots of time at home, kids are picking up on the energy of the world. They aren’t going to their classes, or even to the grocery store. Things are different, even if they don’t “look” like they are.)
So, that’s why the unfocused scattering.
Are you feeling like the energy of your kids is bubbling up and about to explode?
Do you ever feel like, in their chatter and pent up playfulness, that you yourself is building up in intensity?
Energy is riding high right now and children are picking up on all that’s flowing around them.
Yesterday I went in for the Q&A live session in the group, and we talked a lot about how to help your kids feel more grounded and stable in the energy that’s circulating around them.
You can watch that replay here.
Meanwhile, the key to creating stability and grounded energy for your whole family, is to find that balance within yourself.
There’s so much overthinking right now. The energy is building and minds are chattering.
Self balance is always found when you shift attention to the Inside Out.
What does living inside out mean?
Hmmm… really this has to be felt more than explained.
So, here’s a little exercise which you can practice to stretch this experience. (I shared this for both the Breathing Space members and the Step into Your Light Program a couple of weeks ago, so if this feels repeated I apologize.)
The Octopus is a powerful mindset tool to help you shift from what’s outside of you to your inner perspective.
Here it is:
How are you? Are you finding balance in this strange shift?
It’s ok if you answer no.
It’s also ok if you answer yes.
It’s even ok if you have been sitting watching way too much Disney Plus these days and haven’t gotten out of your pajamas for too long to admit.
(and yes, you can email me your answer if you wish!)
These are not the days for “shoulds”.
These are the days for unfolding. For Listening. For Allowing.
We're at the end of the first week of the Coronavirus lockdown here in the UK, and what I've discovered is this: This is a time of a great suspension: a Pause. A space of being more than doing.
Difficult with kids? Possibly.
Or maybe just DIFFERENT, rather than Difficult.
Because, I want to encourage you to, as much as possible, give yourself permission to float.
Yesterday I went into our Facebook community for my daily live to talk about learning to swim last year.
See, growing up I held the belief that I couldn’t swim.
My mother had talked about herself having lead feet, they’d just sink, and the belief was soon claimed by me.
I would swim only as far as I could as long as I could touch the bottom of the pool or lake.
I had to feel the floor beneath my toes. Otherwise, it was too out of my comfort zone.
Too out of my control.
Well last year, as we were worldschooling in Spain, we rented a house with a community pool.
Each day my family was playing up there, and I decided I would shift my belief.
I would swim.
Sure, I would use some floaties for the first while, but the deep end soon became a friend and I would swim in blissfulness, floating around and enjoying the sense of freedom.
My son learnt how to swim last summer too.
After always holding it with fear he finally exclaimed:
Oh! I thought I had to do the swimming against the water, but actually, I just have to trust the water to hold me up!
I find myself needing to learn how to float differently these days. How about you?
Being is taking over from doing, and yes it’s more than ok to let go of control.
Its ok to not know how to fully show up in a Pandemic.
It’s ok to listen to the call to be quiet. The call to receive. The call to adjust.
To be Held, Supported and Loved.
The water is holding you up.
Spiritual flow, isn’t going to let you sink.
The more you relax and focus on just floating into the life flow, as it cascades over and through you, grounding your feet and surrounding you in wholeness, you’ll be carried through this.
Oh sure. Life may shift, change, transform, but it will flow.
Resistance just leaves us splashing against the current.
Breathe deep. Play with your children. Sit in a chair, stare out the window, watch the birds build their spring homes. Watch the wonders of this planet as it heals during this time.
Focus on Love.
And within that… Be.
But you don't have to do this alone either. The world is uniting in this chaos.
If you need anything you know you can reach out at anytime.
(Also, make sure you register for the CREATING STABILITY IN UNSTABLE TIMES 7 day challenge over Easter. I'm emailing participants a number of downloads and exercises for you, your kids and your whole family.)
Heads up: This weekend may feel a little odd.
Because usually there’s a different pace for the weekend.
Kids are off school after a busy week, many parents are off work, but now, for the moment, that’s everyday.
( I know, you are working through schoolwork with the kids during the week, but finding a different pace and energy of connection with them during the weekend is more important than ever.)
So, I wanted to pop in with a couple of suggestions to shift things up a bit over the next couple of days. So you can create flow and light within the texture of your week:
Yes, sometimes there will be screentime and sometimes there will be dry cereal for dinner moments to give yourself a moment to sit in the bathroom and listen to a 5 minute meditation. That's ok. You are showing your kids that balance comes from within. That you turn to within and your spiritual source when the going gets tough.
In order to serve you to the best that I can, and support you with all my heart, I am going to be off Facebook for Saturday and part of Sunday. If you need anything though, please post in the group and members will support you OR you reach out to me via email and I will contact you ASAP with some steps to move forward.
I am putting more consistent, foundational tools in place next week so you will feel the stability of that.
Just know that the steps are being put in place as we navigate this together.
In the meantime, breathe deep, take a pause from this head traffic and give yourself permission to be within this Weekend.
Leave your worries in a worry jar, whisper them to the Universe and let things unfold on their own until you open that jar up again on Monday.
(You’ll be surprised what the universe can deliver when we aren’t looking.)
Are your kids suddenly home?
Today’s Monday and, since many people are currently under quarantine and house bound with their kids at home due to the Coronavirus pandemic, there’s a lot of posts regarding school schedules, new routines and how to juggle work and education over the coming weeks.
But here's the thing that is drawing my attention...
Please remember your kids are nervous.
They are energetically picking up on the fear, stress and uncertainty and, even the fact that they are home and not in school when they usually are, is creating nervous tension within them.
If you are finding yourself stressed about getting schoolwork done, and feel like you have to put the teacher hat on right now. Please stop. Pause, hug your darlings and tell them it’s all going to be ok.
Put some music on, have a dance party, go for a walk. Talk. Laugh.
When I started homeschooling 12 years ago, I went into School at Home mode.
I had my chalkboard, I had my school supplies. I was ready. I made study plans every night and with held treats if they didn’t get done.
When my daughter had tears pouring on her pages, and scribbled the words "I hate my life" on the sheets in front of her… I decided there had to be another way.
Oh, her older sister LOVED the system. She was ready, pencil in hand. But my younger girl, she wanted emotional balance first.
So, she learnt through experience, through exploration. She created and we looked into the lesson after. She asked questions and together we found answers.
During this time of extraordinary circumstances, your kids are going to need emotional balance first.
While trying to do school at home may feel like balance, you, as the parent, have to provide the space for comfort, ease, safety and even fun, light and laughter during this time. That's true balance for children.
Please focus on this first.
Please release the To-do list and create balance first.
Please let go of the action focus and build connection first.
You know, when our kids are grown up they will look back and remember this time as a moment in history.
Wouldn't it be nice if they looked back with pride, that, in their home, they felt safe and made happy memories with their parents. Wouldn't it be a wonderful lesson for them that, even in the face of fear, worry and stress, their family stayed brave and sang through it all.
Circumstance doesn't create happiness. Focus and intention does.
And sometimes, we just have to be brave and act gallantly.
My kids are asking me to figure out some ways to create this as a special time. To cancel work and sit with treats to binge watch series, so that whenever that series comes up in history they will remember the time we shared.
To bake things that will spark memories of safety, security and home. (Baking is a great math lesson by the way… and science… and home economics… and life lesson.)
This is a time for the smells of home. For your child’s heart to swell because they know they are safe with their parents and family.
Look for the lessons within life, rather than imposing them into life. Connect with your kids, and create emotional balance first, above all else.
I'm putting a number of resources for parents in your position in place at the moment. Make sure you come over to the Spiritually Aware Parenting Facebook Group where I'll be sharing regularly. Also feel free to email me if you need to chat. Love and light.
Also, if you want to have some light, fun and flowing tools to help your children create inner connection, balance and awareness..
I'm offering 50% off my course Spiritual Kids for the duration of this crisis, so you can have some spiritually inspired, crafts, exercises and experience prompts for your time at home. <3
My To-do list, that sits on my desk and gets written each weekend, has been pretty much disregarded over the last few days.
I've felt called to something, but finding the words to share have been a little static-y.
So far... my calling has shown up as
- Doing lives with calming meditations.
- As well as offered tools to release fear.
- I'm also encouraging my community to see sick people as whole, to support their healing. (Where attention goes, energy flows, so if you see someone cough, please see their healing,
not their sickness!)
At the same time, I'm not going to be yet another "how to deal with the Corona Virus" post on your newsfeed.
Rather, I want to ask you if you have felt the shift to balance yet?
While many people are feeling confined to home and restlessly (and worriedly) looking at what the coming weeks and months look like, I want to ask you to go heart center consider something;
What if this is the time for your inner most desires?
What if it's time for that project you've always wanted to do? What if it's time to read that stack of books or explore some new course of action?
What if its time to just play with your kids, because "quality time" is something you always think you don't have time for?
I know how stressed many of you are right now.
You have work to think about and bills that might mount up. You are worried for your loved ones and community. There can be so much to worry about.
But stress and fear is showing to create more of the problem as it weakens immunity and puts you physically on red alert.
I believe going within, and seeing this all from the Inside Out, may just create an opportunity for change.
Look, it will never be the perfect time to create change.
It can't be.
When you have a pattern of work and stress and busyness in place, then momentum builds from there and your desires will always be second place. (or third or forth).
You know me. I'm an optimist. In fact, positive outcomes have become second nature. (I wasn't born with that gift. Honest. It took some serious re-programming).
So, what if, it's just time. It doesn't have to be "perfect".
Time to explore your passions, your interests, your curiosities.
What if, while there's rumbling panic outside, you create a sanctuary within, even for just an hour a day? Or 30 minutes. Wouldn't that make your heart feel lighter? Would it bring some joy or relief? Wouldn't it feel more open?
I want you to consider something:
What have you been talking about lately that you want to see changed in your life and how can you create that change RIGHT NOW? In your home, your routine and your habits?
I can't think of a better time to create the change you want to see in your world.
While so many of the world are quarantined or unable to go out to events and such, there's a choice.
Hang around, watching Netflix, complaining on Facebook and focused on the fear.
Activate the inner desires you've been feeling pulled to and let this period of time enhance your life.
Where attention goes, energy flows.
Do you want your energy flowing to worry, stress or fear?
Or do you want to look back at this time in a few years and be proud of yourself, for claiming the moment and becoming the Change you want to See in YOURSELF!
I can't wait to see how you transform this world over the next few weeks.
PS- and don't forget, if Self Development, Spirituality and Inner work are on your curiosity list or something you haven't felt you had "time" for...
on Monday I'll be leading a study group of the STEP INTO YOUR LIGHT Course material. There's still space and still time to join us.
I hope to see you there.
PS- Neat fact...
Did you know that in 1665, Isaac Newton had to work from home due to the Plague?
That was when he developed calculus and gravity...
So while everyone talks about quarantines, elderberry and wide-eyed fears, I wanted to offer my simple perspectives on feeling grounded, present and whole while the buzz of scary things is whirling around you.
I recently put this graphic together after having a conversation with a good friend of mine regarding the current panic of the coronavirus.
The reason is simple.
No matter what, everything in this world can be either focused in love or in fear and when the world is building momentum on fear, then you have to do what it takes to find your way back to LOVE.
What’s ironic is that FEAR itself is scientifically proven to weaken a human's immunity anyway, it creates stress which jumps your mind and heart into fight or flight mode.
You can start fighting mere ideas of fear rather than using this emotional tool for when you intuitively know there’s something to defend against.
In order to find your way back to your heart center, to find the comfort of love focus and the knowingness of aware living, there’s a few steps that will help you climb down from the panic fence and reclaim your heart and mind to feel calm.
Here's my 5 steps to calm a fearful mind. Also known as THE FEAR TOOLBOX
You can't put a happy face sticker on feeling scared.
Rather, it takes acknowledging it and moving through it.
I want to encourage you now to turn off anything that is trying to make you scared. Rather, go within your heart and ask it what it knows.
This is merely one element I work through in my course STEP INTO YOUR LIGHT.
It's important to listen to your heart, your own inner guidance. But so often it's buried under layers of shoulds, past stories or implied guilt.
If you are struggling with finding your intuitive guidance, feeling centered and remembering how to spark your own inner voice and connection to love, than I want to take this opportunity to invite you to join me for my upcoming study group of this course material.
Throughout this course I offer you simple tools and processes, where you can release what scares you and chart a course for your life based on connection and love.
In our private Facebook group, starting March 16th, 2020, I'll be offering you space, support and accountability, so you feel safe and prepared as you dive in heart center.
There is no better time to build up a strong foundation of love, light and inner, spiritual connection than when fear is pounding at your mind.
I truly hope you will consider joining me on this empowering, magical experience.
Everyone I talk to lately is asking me about this huge energy shift that seems to be swirling around the last week or so.
From sleeping issues, to deep dreams, a feeling of restlessness in their bodies or minds, a scrambled sense of focus, or a quicker sense of irritation are some of the reactions to it.
At the same time, there's also a sense of a divine purpose, a calling to something that can't be described, a quest to dive deeper within.
And kids are feeling it too.
I've been asked about sleep issues and listening troubles. Children are feeling the restlessness in the air, like an energy overload.
My own family have been reacting to it, with disturbed sleeps and a feeling of energy tension from the chest up.
So, how is it flowing for you?
The advice I'm offering most of my clients these days is to focus on grounding.
Focus on your feet, walk barefoot or in socks, imagine light traveling down your back, imagine you are a tree with deep roots going into the ground. Focus on your fingers, on your 5 senses, be in your body.
Create. Dance. Jump up and down.
This will then allow you to be a conduit of the energy that is flowing. It can flow through you, rather than being bottle-necked and built up.
Does that make sense?
Where attention goes energy flows. And when we hear about powerful energy or mercury retrogrades or cosmic shifts our attention goes upwards. With almost a defense in place we brace ourselves...
"Ok. here we go. I'm ready."
When really, if you allow that energy to empower, fuel and at the same time flow through you, releasing things that are getting in your way.
At the same time it will simply give you what you need and release the rest.
You can help your children by simply focusing on their feet, getting them exercising, running and dancing, and then foot rubs or just holding their feet at night, so their attention allows flow.
A great way to tune in to see how energy is affecting you is to look at literally how you are feeling.
Over in the Facebook Group, I recently posted a poll to see how members feel on bad days.
I know, I don't usually focus on the negative, but acknowledging and knowing how triggers pop up for you is really powerful, as with that awareness you can put tools in place.
Emotions are your spirit's way of telling you how connected you are at any moment, like a heart centred language. By observing how you feel, you tune into this inner guidance system.
The top responses were;
and with negative head chatter.
These are powerful energetic states, which, once you know their messages, you can shift your attention and use them as guidance.
I'm going to be exploring this through a few avenues over the next couple of months. I'm planning a free class, as well as some elements for the Breathing Space Membership. (Sign up for the newsletter to keep in the loop.)
However, I want to encourage you to consider something, that dives in deep right away.
I have space for a couple of new clients, starting in the next couple of weeks, for my initial 6 week package. (As well as a January Special offer)
Over our time together, I will help you:
Because, when you are aware of your truest self and the energy that is there to support you, refuel you and rejuvenate you, you will feel more present and empowered as yourself and as a parent.
You will also have a deeper insight to your children; to whom they really are and why they are acting or feeling the way they are.
Everything shifts, empowered by the universe having your back.
The universe's energy is always flowing for you. It's just sometimes, everyone forgets to plug in and allow it to fuel you!
I highly encourage you to "apply" for this 1;1 time with me.
Sending you deep love. - Christina
Today is the start of my December, the month when I take a step back from my usual routine, the work that I love with all my being, and take some time to go within and create a deep connection with my Source, my Spiritual Centre, my God... my inner being, as well as have some holiday fun with my family, of course.
Although I practice spiritual connection every day... and I wouldn't be able to offer the work and support if I didn't, I started taking December off a couple of years ago, so I could fully dive in to a space of conference with my divinity. It was through last year's conference that the Breathing Space Membership Program was conceived... and I came back in January feeling more present and aligned to how I wanted to serve you all for the year ahead.
This has been a phenomenal year;
I have had the most amazing clients, working with both mothers and fathers who are eager to find balance and inner connection to their spiritual selves so they can fully show up as the parents they want to be. I've had one time sessions all the way up to 6 months contracts. I've had returning clients who found their way back to me, and new clients who found me through The Family Alchemists Site or various interviews I've had.
The Breathing Space has cracked me open and let Priestess energy flow from a space I've only been touching on since Spain. The women there are so open to being vulnerable, passionate and creative. Although they also know they can be real, upset, hurt.. and mostly held. They love the resource portal, but it's the work we are doing as a group that keeps them passionate members who keep coming back for more. (They literally just voted in the "Take me for a ride, Christina" option on a recent poll about 2020! So exciting)
All of this to say, that, although I'm heading into the quiet for a bit, I'm not leaving you without some amazing resources while I'm gone.
Over at the Free Facebook Community some amazing guest speakers have volunteered to share their gifts with you.
From 3 Breathwork sessions on Saturdays, to guest oracle card readings on Tuesdays, all the way to a session about listening to your spirit guides... its a wonderful selection.
So if you aren't in the group, please feel free to join here. (It's a safe place, as a dear friend has stepped in to act as moderator while I'm away.) and if you are already there, make sure you keep an eye out for notifications or pop in every once in awhile.
But, before I go on my break... I also want to help you pave the way for 2020.
So, if here are some of my 2019 Holiday offers... that expire Tuesday morning!
A Year Membership subscription to THE BREATHING SPACE (reg. $420 now only $297 saving you 3 whole months) We'll be starting January with a Mindfulness Challenge to tune in each day, heading to a manifestation challenge in February and a Ritual Focus in March. I'm also looking at creating some things geared up for members children as well.
I'm adding a $97 Shifting Session offer (reg. $147) here and now... (not on the main page either...)
A few people were asking me about the energy sessions that are 30 minutes and they haven't been feeling satisfying to how I want to support you in January. You can still book one through the site, but a Shifting Session is 90 minutes, with spirituality coaching, conscious parenting tools, resources, and session notes as well as the 30 minute energy healing so a lot more impact for your time.
Manifesting Joyful Parenting workshop recording for only $11.11
The Chakras for parents 7 part course for only $22.22
(Both these are included in the Breathing Space members portal, so if you chose to become a member don't bother purchasing these.)
You can find more of these offers (other than the above courses) Here at the Offers Page.
I hope they serve you well and I so look forward to connecting with you in the New Year.
I might not be as available as I usually am, but I will be checking my email once in awhlle, so please don't hesitate to reach out by emailing me here. It is my joy to connect with you.
And without further ado...
I wish you the happiest of holiday seasons, may it be filled with love, light, ease, relief and lots of laughter for you and all you love. May it be the start of a beautiful 2020.
Winter is fast approaching and with it I can feel myself craving some "cave-time".
A friend of mine mentioned the term to me a couple of weeks ago and since then I've been stewing with it, stiring it around in a pot of thoughts.
Cave-time. Hibernation. Rest. Be-ingness.
Same too when I discovered the Danish word Hygge which describes the glorious feeling of comfort and coziness. The sitting in a fleece blanket with a fire on and a cup of tea with a good book kind of day.
Did you know I have Danish blood? My maiden name is Jensen and when I heard this concept (that supposedly many, many people are talking about and I just didn't know), suddenly it was like a whisper from my ancestors....
But let's face it, there's life to live.
Kids to feed and school, business to run, amazing clients to support and a holiday season to plan.
But to me, in this busy season, finding the inner frequency of Hygge or cave-time is the ultimate Self Care.
Self care isn't the big action steps or To-Dos.
Self care is the acknowledgement that you are your SELF, your inner being, magical Self...
and your heart and your mind need caring for.
Drop into a 5 minute moment of Cave-time and you have more self care than a 2 hour trip to Target in Holiday Season. (In fact, if you are headed to any shop in holiday season I recommend at least 10 minutes of inner cave time before hand to prepare yourself!)
So, what does that care time look like?
Spiritual Awareness flows as an inner warmth and flame that comforts your from within.
Taking the Cave-time as actual inner work means you can be standing in line somewhere and refocus to your inner cave, your inner cozy blanket and allow the universe to take over the clutter outside for a bit.
A quick heads up about a couple of things:
I'm working through a few surprise offers to create more ease and flow for you this season and for the new Year. Although Black Friday-Cyber Monday sales can seem so chaotic, I like to offer my own personal flow of magic and energy through them, as I see it as a celebration of my work from the past year just before I head off on holiday.
So over that weekend I will be creating some offers ranging from:
- A discount on my 3 session introductory package,
- A year long membership to The Breathing Space
- And... as a special fun flow... the chance at an oracle card spread that will be done personally for you, drawing a card for the full year ahead.
I'll be sharing details closer to the time, but I wanted you to know so that you can plan or suggest to loved ones. :)
Also that weekend is the end date for the Early Bird Special of my annual workshop
Creating an Intentional New Year, which takes place on Dec 28th and is currently on for $27 instead of $35. Book soon as its limited space and Breathing Space members are already given access.
So often it can feel like your energy is focused on how to parent, and how to create connection with your kids.
But, as you know, I'm all about making sure that you find connection within, so you can feel grounded and present with your children, fully tuned in to Who You Really Are.
In case you haven't heard... the Positive Parenting Premium Ecourse Bundle sale is an opportunity for you to have access to some of the top positive parenting courses and resources, produced by parent bloggers and experts worldwide all for one really low price. ( the actual numbers stand at $1700 value for only one payment of $97!).
This year, I'm excited to have my Self Development course, Step into Your Light as one of the programs you get when you purchase the $97 bundle.
I feel like this is really an important addition... because as parents I know how tempting it is to want to invest in the tools to "fix" your challenges.
I hear it all the time... parents will mention a challenge they are facing with their children, either in behavior, or sleep, or potty training or teen raising... and they ask "What can I do?"
The courses in this bundle will give you concrete solutions that will work a treat.
And yet, deeper down there's something else.
As parents it can be such a joy to invest in our kids.
How you can make a better life for them, how can you provide them with the best platform for learning, growing and love?
You can spend and spend looking for the perfect resource and tool.
And yet at the same time, Self Care is becoming a to-do list item that rarely gets met. It's falling to the sideline and getting lost in solo trips to Target or long bubble baths.
So often, busy parents who are successfully navigating their child through day to day activity, are also craving something else.
A deeper sense of guidance, of connection... of present living.
This was my motivation in creating Step into Your Light.
I actually started the process of creating the course with a simple question posted in numerous groups...
"Do you feel lost in the role of being a Mom?"
The replies were astounding.
Now to be fair, there were many who replied, no. That being a mom was what they'd always dreamed of.
But the majority replied that they longed to connect to the still voice of themselves and it was currently lost in the chaos of it all.
At the same time though, they would invest in things for their kids, for their parenting, but were struggling in investing for "self care".
And that brings us back to the Positive Parenting Ecourse Bundle Sale.
Because, with the variety of courses, you are getting a chance to invest in your parenting, in your children and at the same time, invest in creating that connection within yourself, so you can truly shine as the authentic parent you want to be from a deep, heart centred place.
Recently, as I sat imagining you purchasing the bundle, I had a little twinge of new desire.
I love working with my clients and connecting with parents who are enrolled in my programs or memberships.
So, I've decided to add a Bonus for the first 20 people who purchase in the Bundle via this link...
When you purchase the bundle I'll send you my calendar where you can book a FREE 30 Minute Energy Healing Session with me, in the New Year.
I want to ensure you have the tools and balance that will create the foundations of positive, peaceful, authentic parenting you want flowing through your home... and at the same time, connect with you to give you a bit of 1;1 support at the same time.
So, hurry. Purchase the bundle as soon as possible for $97 so you get:
Within my focus to help you clear what's been holding you back so you can feel light, ease and in flow before the end of this decade... there's something I need to talk with you about.
It's big... are you ready?
Well actually, I don't necessarily call it the F-word, because I find that, like so many words, forgiveness can have different feelings and intentions for everyone.
The word Forgiveness can sometimes trigger a sense of blame or a sense of self loathing, it can sometimes spark defense within one person or the sanctimonious "I forgive you!" which can carry a new weight within.
And yet... within the deep sense of forgiveness is the pure, unwavering, blissful sense of
I always encourage my clients to focus on RELEASING... releasing themselves, releasing others, releasing situations, releasing energetic response, releasing the stories of what is.... the inward releasing which creates Presence and WHOLENESS from the inside out.
I truly believe the focus of Forgiveness is actually based in loving releasing.
Imagine that with every negative experience you have with someone, energetic cords link you together. Each time you are with the person or in a similar situation, these cords get reactivated and practiced, sparking away.
When you practice forgiveness... or releasing, you shift the energy, release the cords and allow new life to flow through your experience.
This has magical results, transforming relationships, creating light conversation where before there was only tension, or even simply letting the energy fade away, so that you don't seem to even "bump" into each other anymore.
A traditional process to "forgive" that is mentioned on social media is the Ho'oponopono prayer.
The idea being that you hold someone or something in your mind within these phrases:
I'm Sorry. Please Forgive Me. I Thank you. I love you.
I have heard incredible stories of transformation with these simple words, so I want to encourage you to simply try them on. See how they feel and if they resonate.
However, I will also make space for the fact that when I first tried them on, they didn't resonate. I felt like the please forgive me phrase kept me in a feeling bad space and actually made the focus on releasing only myself. Each exchange we have with other people is a co-creation... so I like to offer these phrases instead.
I'm Sorry. I Release you. I Thank you. I love you.
I appreciate the transformations the traditional version has brought to many, but between translation and past triggers I find that this can hold back that deeper shift that is so magical for some people.
Here's the intention behind the statements;
Holding someone or a situation in your mind surround it in...
I'm Sorry. (By saying Sorry you are noting that everything is a co-creation. You were there in the room so your energy was part of the combined energy. Like chemistry, two compounds create a reaction.)
I Release You. (Imagine the cords unhooking from your field and being released back to the person. See them fade. This doesn't necessarily mean they will be out of your life forever, rather it is simply claiming your energy as your own... and returning their energy to them.)
I Thank You. (Each engagement, even a negative one, creates growth and new insight. We learn so much through contrast, we learn what we want through what we don't want. We GROW. So giving thanks for the experience acknowledges the growth.)
I Love You. (Imagine surrounding the situation or person in love and light, allowing them to be whole and released from you, see the love flowing around them... and the love flowing around yourself. )
Have you ever practiced a Forgiveness/Releasing Process? How have you found it? Did it create shifts for you?
I have been working through this process with clients and members for the last couple of years, but I really started hearing about the impact it was having when I included it into my course Step Into Your Light.
I included this within the Releasing Your Shadows section, which is the second part of the course and designed to let go of what's not serving you and open up the doors to feeling present and aware as the person you want to be.
I've included Step into Your Light as my contribution into the Positive Parenting Premium Ecourse Bundle Sale that takes place next week.
Between the 22nd and the 24th you'll get access to my course + 18 other courses all created with the intention to give you tools to be the parent you want to be and support your children in their journey positively.
Here's a link to a preview of all the courses you'll get access to... along with Step into Your Light.
I love being part of this experience with fellow bloggers and parenting experts.
You basically are getting 17 courses for the price of 1 so you can pick and chose.
(actually, the $97 fee for signing up for the bundle is less than the regular price of my course enrollment alone!)
I always love the deep sigh of sweet relief that follows truly releasing someone or something that you have energetic ties to. Forgiveness is actually the ultimate act of Self Care.
This is a true and deep reset, which creates new space for life to flow effortlessly into the direction of your desires.
This was actually a post I wrote 3 years ago.
And yet, I was reminded about it today when I was talking about the resistance parents have sometimes to putting the tools in place to just... feel better.
I do it myself sometimes. I see a program that would bring relief and probably create some amazing manifestations in my life, creating joy, laughter and flow through the process...
but then I put my attention on the grind and daily chores, putting off what feels like relief for the struggle.
But I have to ask... "how can I create relief, from struggle?" that makes no sense!
Yes, as humans we all have patterns that need to be re-paved. So, it's time...
Time to take your hand off of the hot stove.
When I was starting my positive parenting path, it coincided with my discovery of the teachings of Abraham Hicks… and the the concept of taking your hand off the hot stove really transformed my way of thinking.
When I first was introduced to the work of Abe and Esther, my husband and I ordered a CD of theirs (yeah… remember ordering CDs?). We listened to it so often that I can still hear some of it word for word in my head….
“We just want to encourage you to take your hand off the stove. But you say ‘ I can’t. My mother put her hand on the stove, her mother put her on the stove… it’s just what we do. The day I was born they told me to put my hand on the stove.” And we say, try it. And you sigh and say ‘it is sweet relief to take my hand off the stove. But who am I to take my hand off, when even my government and world has their hands on the stove?’ we say, put your hand back on the stove if you want to, but now you know that you have the choice.”
What’s the stove? Pressure. Struggle. Stress. The perception that life has to be hard, that success has to be achieved, that we have to push to get what we want.
That parenting has to be a painful journey with a lot of heartache… and our children will end up rebelling against us. That we have to control them, or cajole them to be the people we want them to be. (blech!) That we can't feel relief, or centre, or spiritual connection without long periods of time for healing and rehashing the past.
We can take our hands off that stove of struggle, of pain.
What I love about this image is the actual relief it sparks within me. I imagine having my hand in pain and then just lifting it off. I don’t need to pry it with all my might. I don’t need to push. I just need to remember that I have what it takes to just lift my hand out of the fire. I have what it takes to breathe deep and be. But I still forget. I still put it right back on there
What Abraham forgets to mention (mainly because they are a spiritual consciousness being channeled through Esther Hicks) is that as physical people, we also have neural pathways that pull us back into our old patterns.
Each morning, as if on cue, we will get out of bed and put our hands back on that stove, unless we put some tools in place to remind ourselves that each day can be different. We can make a different choice.
I often talk about how complaining literally becomes part of us and how gratitude (appreciation) breaks the pathways of negative perspective.
But it does take that choice of lifting our hands off of the high pressure world, in fact, making that choice each day, is really all it takes.
I remember when I was in theatre school, I would sit listening to what the teacher would tell us our project was or what was expected from us. I remember thinking “nah… I can’t even imagine myself doing that.” And then within a few weeks I’d be doing stage-fighting, or climbing 20ft scaffolding, or reciting some long piece of Shakespeare prose.
I soon learned that it was just about jumping in and not pushing against it, and taking the step by step path before me. I’d get there in the end.
Sometimes it just takes focusing on the “headlights”… because just like when you drive at night you can only see a few feet in front of you with the help of your headlights, and yet you always end up at your destination. This is so true in life…
Sometimes, the only step that’s clear is to take your hand off of the hot stove.
It's time. It's really, really time.
We have made things so complicated, but as a spiritual being having a physical experience you can STOP and CLAIM your inner, unique power simply by...
Claiming it. Ease the pressure just a bit, but lifting your hand... up!
When we can just find that relief, even if everything around us is busy.
Focus on headlights, focus on love, light and relief. You’ll get there in the end.
Want to know more about my 6 week intensive coaching program to help shift from frustration to connection with yourself and your kids?
If you have been practicing keeping your hand on that hot stove, or practicing a story of struggle and frustration for too long and you want to release it to make room for joy and relief, I'd love to hear from you and have you apply. Learn more here.
If a busy parent develops their sense of self love, spiritual connection and a deep awareness of their whole selves, they can freely create a conscious, fulfilling, life of flow and relief with their kids.
When a parent is stressed out and spread too thin, they are simply trying to get water from an empty well.
Whereas, when you connect to your spiritual resources and inner self, energy flows to you, fuels you, replenishes you and keeps you present and calm.
Children respond to a present, grounded parent...
whereas they can't when their mom and dad feel scattered and all over the place.
It's a strong belief within me, I can tell you that.
But have I ever told you why this is such a powerful belief?
Why do I feel this is the conscious parenting secret sauce?
Because I've been on both ends of the scale.
I often will talk about having 2 little girls under one. I'll talk about feeling scattered homeschooling as well as running a business.
But I don't think I've ever discussed what led me to truly trusting in the power of going within.
In 2010 we took our first worldschooling trip to the UK, but in so many ways it was one of escape.
- We'd been working on fixing up our house, a money pit, and my husband was facing burnout.
- Our dog had been killed by a neighbor.
- Our goat had died in giving birth... along with 2 of her kids.
- My family was gripped in heartbreak with some extended family issues.
- CPS had been called by neighbors concerned about our daughters not being in school. (before homeschooling became a thing in our province.)
I was spread so thin I would find myself shaking. I was running around after everyone's needs, and each time the phone rang I would feel myself tense up and start to panic.
Last year, just before New Years 2019, I offered a workshop on setting Intention for the New Year.
I was passionate about helping parents dive deep into their desires, tune into how they want to feel, and set that as a goal and anchor for their year.
And I still am.
Some of the desired feelings and intentions participants set were:
Focused. Joy. Presence Healed
Whole, Self Confidence
Throughout the experience I then encouraged participants to imagine how that feeling felt, and what that looked like in December.
From the position of January, that felt so light, easy and fun.... it was hopeful and intentional.
And here we are headed into September.
While some parents are dancing with their intended feelings, others have come to me saying they lost the plot. That they lost sight of where they wanted to go and got stuck in running the hamster wheel of where they are.
No harm done, I always say.
You can always line up.
You've just been getting a clearer idea of what you want, based on what you don't want.
You can always line up with intention. It's waiting for you.
There's just enough time to put some things in practice, release some resistance and open up to the person you want to be... before the holiday season.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.